A Midsummer nightmare

       So today  I  had class at my  beloved  jr college.   I  needed a text book  for philosophy which  my  dad  came  to the bookstore to get,but  we  ended up not  getting the book.  " Why  did  we not get  the book?"


   When  my  dad came to bookstore  he traded places with me so I could  rest my feet and look on my iphone.  I looked on Facebook that was fine, but then I  got an email from  my old university  The  plan was I  would  take classes at both  the jr college and the university  since  I can only take two classes at the  university.     The same university  that I   talked about here.

   Apparently not  much has changed in terms of inclusiveness  towards   those  with disabilities. Ableism  rules  supreme  and  the term  has not began.  How  do  I know this.

  The  email I  got  was play invite  to all the students   to try out for  Shakespeare's  A  mid summer nights  dream.   I  kinda  like  that play and  have always wanted  to be in at least one play  my school career so  I  was interested  in  trying out .  Until  I  read the following,

"This play requires clarity of speech and a passionate desire to communicate one’s point of view."


   This is clear ableism. Why  I  have  speech issues.  I  can  barely  say my own name.  I have  been in  speech  therapy   since I was   three.  The  speech  issues are  due to CP. Futhermore   this  was sent out  to all  the students.   This  was not broadway its a school play,  something that I  always wanted  to do.   Did  they  think about this?No.    


  I am  leaning  towards not going back to school and  school starts a  week from now. 

This could change my life

 
      ***** Authors note :  I  do not mean  in any  way shape or form to  be disrespectful  to  people with intellectual disabilities or  those that love them.  If I  did  I  apologize.  I am  just  sharing my  story. 



   So yesterday at around  5:00  I was talking to my psychology   teacher.   We  were   talking about my  inability  to communicate clearly and how  people  often assume that I am  intellectually  disabled.   It happens   right away.    The movement I open my  mouth  to a new person   bam   they assume that I  do not comprehend anything  which is   untrue.    It has  happend to me when  I attend university . Lets  think about this for a second.    I had to apply   and  got in but still a professor was  really  surprised  when I aced  a test.

  How I felt when the professor  was surprised about my  A . 

         Not even 24 hours  later I am  reading Love that  Max  that mentions Talkitt.         Its an app that translates  unclear speech into  speech  that others can understand.  This  has  to be the greatest thing ever invented.    Now this does not change ignorant minds,but   it allows for my message  to be expressed in  real time which   takes off the frustration from me and  the listeners.  And perhaps if they do not have to disappear what I am saying  just  maybe   they will be able to  see my  cognitive ability.


 Talkit  needs your help  it is  seeking funding to  make  this into a reality.  If  I could  I would donate all the money but I  can not but if any of my readers  would  I'd appreciate it.     This has the potentialr  to  change the world for  people with speech  impairments.  It would  make my life a little easier.   Go here  to donate and  watch a video of it in action.



Got image of  elsa  from 
 http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/2a/e1/e4/2ae1e45ff8e863aabc312bfe8212fd85.jpg

Cerebral Palsy Party Day 8 : Brining out the Marshmellows

  So todays post is going to be long but it is  going to be helpful.

 The biggest  way that  my Cerebral Palsy affects me is speech.   I understand the world  around me but   when  I try to speak the words do not come out clear. My  arch nemesis is the evil  K.

 For a longtime  I could not say the /k/ sound among other sounds.   I have a /k/ sound in my name which  would lead me to mispronounce my name. So "cookie" sounded a lot like  "tootie".

  A  great way  for others to understand  whats its like  for me to talk is to take marshmallows and  without swallowing them  try to talk.  For  preschool and kindergaten kids.    Have them  sing a song that they know like   Old McDonald had a farm while having marshmallows in there mouth.



  If they are  older you can take it a step forward.


 Steps
1 Line up outside the door.
2  one by one enter the  classroom and  given a card with a single word.
3  Sit  down  quietly  Don't  Talk
4 once  everyone has a word  hand out marshmallows  try to  have students rearrange  themselves in ABC  order with these rules.

       They  can not use hand gestures.
       they  can only say there word that is on their flashcard aka no sentences.
         They can swallow there marshmallows
  Explain that this is what  some people with CP experience everyday. The  pain the frustration the inability to communicate 

  I  did  the ABC order  activity in a linguistics  class.   The students learned a ton.  One told me that  if she  ever has students, she wants to be an elementary school  teacher,  with a  speech impairment they are going to bring out the marshmallows.

 got  images  from

 letter K
https://fbcdn-profile-a.akamaihd.net/hprofile-ak-ash3/50271_239794985914_7024254_n.jpg
 marshmallows
http://www.farmersalmanac.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/Marshmallows-thumb-420x240.jpg

Turning pain into power

 The  Saga  continues  read part one  before    this  part  


 So  today  I left my   History of Western Civ  class   as we were taking role.    I was not  feeling like  I should stay in college.    I mean  if  I can not  order a cheeseburger  how  I am I  going to  get a job  teaching .  I went to visit some of my  professors that  I have had   over the  years . (  Math   BIo  and  tried to  talk to my American Lit teacher  from  last semester but she was not there .      I also went to  DSPS and talked to them,   I   talked to  Ms, Super, not  real  name,   who  has  helped  me  for the past three years ,  and    Consular   J   who   has   also  helped me all three  year  I toldl  them  I wanted to drop out of school  because of the incident.

       My thinking was if I can not  get a good  job   because of  my  disabilities. Why  stay  in  college and  try to be intellecual   when  everyone thinks  i am  dumb  , or  worse , but  that   is  later   I  should be trying to  find a job now that  will  last me  the rest of my life  like    bagging  or something  else.

 Well  they  said  I had  to promise them to   wait til  monday   before dropping classes.

 Well  I  went to my  bio teacher and he   found this video  on  youtube so  that was  making me feel  better

             


 i  resolved to  confront   A  about the   incident.

So  A  says  ,"  I   am sorry  if you felt that  way   I thought it was cute that you wanted to make sure you  had  your cheese."

 
AZ:Cute  I am  21 years  old  I am not  cute.

  AZ thinking back on it :  I  am not  cute because  I was trying to communicate . I looked  to  make sure  because  I have  a speech  problem  and wanted to make sure it was done  right   oh  but  it gets  worse

  A :   Well   we don't see you  like that we see you  as a little princess  a little  girl.

  So  I went to  talk to the president and instead found an assistant  who gave me    the contact information for   the head  of the food court  and   we are  having a meeting    tomorrow  in  DSPS with  Ms, Super  I hope all  goes well.

Crappy Cheeseburgers

                   Let me just say that I hate  my voice.   Yeah  I am  in  ST  but  it still hard.  I am  21 years old ( Age wise)  but   I can not say my own  name its a  struggle  and  no  I       can not  do phonics.       Despite all  of this  I  understand everything,  ok  so not  chemistry but  not everyone  understands it,    what that means  is that I do not have an intellectual  disability.  Its like  an  invisible  brick  wall ,  yeah  I  know    walls  can not be invisible  but its a metaphor  with a  fantasy twist .  I  know what I  want  but   when  I try to  get it  I  hit   my head on a brick  wall.   Totally  not fun:( .

      This makes  ordering  food   really  hard  sometimes  people can  understand my     speech and   either  make the food or  help  me   tell the person . Well   the past few days at my college  dinning hall   the  chiefs have not been understanding me that well.      Earlier today I had speech   and we came up  with writing  the word down   on the notes feature of my I-Phone   .  Well , as  I went back to the dinning room   after speech  for a evening class  ,  I  wrote  down  Cheese burger  and  garlic fries  as a back up  plain.     There was a  severe  there  lets  call   them  A.  It was fairly  busy   so they called another person  to help    B.  Well    I  have worked with  A    before but   she was having a  hard time understanding me   I'd  say  she   understands about 70% of what  I say; however,  I  had never  met    B  before.    B ends up  helping me.    Between the two of them they  understand that I want  a Cheeseburger and  B    starts one on the  grill,  I tried  to tell them I wanted   American Cheese  but  neither one understands me. So  I write it on my phone  and show B  he calls    A  over and  A  helps  him I look over   and sure enough there is some American cheese on the grill.  I look down and hear a smirk.    I    think that someone   made fun of my speech the worst part is  A  is the manager. 


 Told my  parents and   they did not  seem to see why I was so  mad.     I am  mad because  I think they made fun of my speech.  I  am   mad because   I want to be able to  say what I want   and  have people understand the first time.  I am  mad  because    sometimes I  am  so    Frigen tired  of   repeating and  trying   to be understood.  I am  mad because  I hate  when  people   think  that I am too dumb to  notice if they  laugh.  Good  think  book  girl and Soccer  man   understand.