No one would have predicted : three years later

  I had  the worst start to college.  I  felt that I did not belong there.  I  was severely depressed. My  first semester  I missed  two to three weeks of school. I wanted nothing to do with college I wanted to go back to high school.  I was afraid of the world, which  sounds   bad, but its true.  I did not want to go up  I thought I would not be able to succeed.

   I  do not blame myself because I  had  been brainwashed into thinking I was not college material. I knew  I was smart  and could comprehend, yet my teachers in high school  did not see potential in me  and I had no  friends who could relate to going to college with significant disabilities.  All  the kids my age with with disabilities were  in the Adult transition program.  I did not qualify for the program, yet junior year  the schools workability  school representative   told my mom that I  should find a job at Safeway.  I was hurt.  So you see  how scared I was  to leave  high school.

 Too make matters worse  due to my terrible monstrous behavior,  most teachers in high school did not allow me to contact them. I  have tried to befriend so many  of my former teachers who have befriended other students , yet most ignore me  including my special education teacher.  I think they did not want to hear  my tdradigies that were going to happend or so they thought,


    I  finally got the college thing down and I made the dean's list. I  developed close bonds with professors and staff.  My behavior improved a ton to the point where  teachers LIKE me.  I have asked them if they are sure that they are not confusing me with Princess,  yeah  I know  she is not at the same school. 


 Just today this  conversation took place between  Professor D and  me,

 AZ: Thanks for tolerating me this semester

 ProfD: No  problem its been my pleasure,

AZ: What? 

 a student: Its been his pleasure.


ProfD:  Keep in touch I  will fallow your blog.


 For ProfD: Thanks for  being supper nice to me and helping me out. I hope  we keep in touch if you  do not mind. I may be visiting  in the fall.  Your words mean a lot to me and show me how far I have come. Thanks for  leading  me to believe that I am a decent person. I love  comments on the blog btw

  


 Now  do not get me wrong I  still have hard  behaviors  at home and in DSPS, yet I  am
  

learning  how to  deal with them in a mature mannor.   Part of it is habit. I have  to retrain my reactions which is not easy but  I am  going to be graduating  JC and Transferring  to University. Right now my Major is Liberal Studies but I am thinking of  switching it to English  with my end goal being a Special Education teacher. I am not  going  to a day program, I am not going  to a shelter workshop. I  am going to University.

  Too be honest I have been afraid  yet  I  feel like this time thing will be different. I  will stay  in contact with many professors at  the  JC and support Staff  at DSPS.  I hope  to  take  some more classes their if time permits   I  have grown and I am  ready.  Transition will be hard,yet their are two major thing that will be different. I have a ton of people who support me now and most importantly, I  believe in myself now.