Why the R word hurts: a friends perspective

 signing the pledge last year 3-3-2010

     Back in high school I  spear headed   a new  club  called  Dons Disability Awareness  Club. One  of the  events  we did was a  Spread the word to end the word .  It was a great  event and many people signed the  pledge  and  I still have  numerous  wristbands  lying around the house.

   People  might ask  me  why I care so much  about the use of the  the  word   retarded.  I  mean I  do not  have   a intellectual disability.  I have  a physical disability   and a speech  disability but  not a intellectual disability so the  word is  just a word to me  right  wrong

     When I was ten  years  old my parents  signed me up  for judo at the local rec center, The  class  met  Tuesdays and  Thursdays  in the  gym  for an hour.  I  signed  up in February and  before long   my  friend ,she  is no longer my friend,joined shortly after   lets call her  B. She  was deaf and had  NVLD, like me, but she  was  in inclusive education  at the local elementary school which  was connected  to the  rec.  As  faith would have it her  new neighbors  would  move  in and they had  kids around   our age.  A fifth  grader,  a  year ahead of us, a third  grader and  a  four year old who was the only girl in the bunch.  The  third  grader  who we will call LM  happened to have Down Syndrome.   I met them  when  LM came to  join a judo class after  my friends mom  told  her new neighbor about the class  and  shortly there after   LM and I became friends.

   A  few years later LM was  at our same school  in middle school and the three of us always hung out together,. At the  time LM was  into  basketball so every lunch hour   LM and I would gobble down our lunches and  race to  the blacktop to play  in pickup games on one such  occasion we were  playing  with  a  other kids  in my grade, so  older then LM ,  and  LM was doing the best he could.  He  did not have  dribbling down,  needed  reminders of what basket to shoot  at, and  got too close  to the defender.   Most of the  other kids were vary nice to him and  gave him  the ball and  not block him and let him shoot but  on one  occasion a kid  who was  dribbling the ball  and  LM was  trying to steal it from  her she  said.

"GET AWAY YOU RETARD ."

LM  sat down  on the side of the  court  and  I fallowed  him.  I was  stunned.  B's mom had told me not to say that word to  LM and  now i knew  why. LM    was a charming fellow. He loved basketball and Disney movies and did  judo.  He was  full of life   but   the person who called him the R word had  taken all that away from him as if  she  had  popped a balloon that was LM's spirit.    

.

To this day the memory of that  day  is  vivid and  runs deep.  He  is the  reason why  I  started   Spread the word to end the word  at my high school last year. He is the reason why  Spread the word to end the word   will be there  this year  even though I  no longer   attend.   LM  was the first person I  really got to know   with a intellectual disability but he was not the last. B encourage  me  to become a special Olympics  athlete and  I now  know many people  in my area wit intellectual disabilities. People with  Intellectual disabilities are  people   who have  different personalities.    These people can be cliquish while others can be vary sweet and accept everyone.   But when   people  use the R word  they lump them all  together  in to a group that is beneath  the speak.  

 Having CP  which results in unclear s speech I  sometimes  get  treated as  though I have  a intellectual disability  due to my speech.  I know  the feeling  and it is not a good one. i  see  the  mindset  of thinking that  they are above me  and it does not feel right. I am  intelligent  but  even if i wasn't  I still would want to be treated with respect:Learning is  not everything   everyone needs to  realize  that a person is a person   who has  feelings  we  all   cry the  same tears. We all  feel sadness.  It is  what makes  us  human  so  think about that the  next time  before  use the  R word,

  Words DO Hurt

 Spread the word to end the word

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 got images  from

 judo- http://www2.nijmegen.nl/mmbase/images/964763/judo.jpg
 basketball-http://web.ocknights.org/images/basketball_cartoon.jpg
 spread the word  date for 2011-http://media.specialolympics.org/soi/files/spread-the-word/STW-Dated-Dark.jpg
 tear drop-http://wwwcdn.net/ev/assets/images/vectors/afbig/water-drop-clip-art.jpg
 Be a fan -http://nyso.org/STW2010.jpg