Dear Princess : A disabled older sister's letter to her younger sister upon leaving the house

 Grad  party  June 2012

 Background
    For those of you that  have been  reading  a long time.  My  youngest sister and I do not  get along  that well so  it would  seem that when  she   left for college  I would not   feel soo  sad .

  Thats

 Not  

 True

 So today  my sister is  on a plane   heading for  Oregon  where she  will  be  attending college.  Her major is  undecitead  yet she is  ready to  take off.   Book gal and I will stay  behind   this year as  book gal  will be going to  a  JC  this year and I am  still  at  the same  JC  I was  last semester.






 Dear Princess.

 Halloween 1994   Big Bro ,Princess, Book Gal and  AZ

             As you  reading this you are in Oregon  your new home.  You may feel  happy and exicited   to  be branching out on your own.  I know  college is a big change from high school   just from my experience  but  this is  different     not only are you going to college   you are leaving  the house.   No  just  a house  our  house   our  home that we have shared for the last  18  years.   There is a old video  of us visiting the site  before moving into the house while you were still inside mom's belly.  Now  our house is  bulit  and   it has had many  renivations  done  over the years.  We  have added    hardwood floors  windows     a swing set    which has now been replaced with a swingset.   Theres  a small  garden and our beautiful  California hillside that is our  backyard  in  our small  part of the neighborhood.  Inside  you have moved rooms    the first room that you used to share with our  brother  is now  my  room, yet  I still  remember  your little white bed  the same bed that we  sat on  in this  halloween picture.   Rooms have changed the house  has changed  and grown  just  like you have changed from the baby     in the pumpkin picture   to  a  beautiful duck  who   now  loves the    Pretty Little  Liars.

     It seems  funny to think  that I  am  still here.  But a lot of things about me being the older sister have been funny.      Growing up with developmental disabilities is  hard  but   it must be harder for you  to be the  younger sister of  a  older sister with disabilities. You have  had to become elder, yet be younger then me by age.    You have had  to explain to other s why  I talk funny and     yell so loud  and am  prone to bouts of anxiety. I am sorry that you had to experience these things and become  afraid of my behavior at   times.  To be honest   I  was hoping that    we  would have a better relationship  before you left home, yet  I  know  I am hard to  deal with.  I want you to know that although I have not been the easyiest   sister  to  grow up alongside with  I   love you so much. I hope you enjoy  Oregon and have a great life  you are a special young lady who is  a great motherly figure to your  younger friends.    You are  ready  to be an adult.   I need some time  but  I will  get there.  I love you soooooooo  much.

 much love,

AZ
.

AZ  Big Bro and princess 1994