25 Life Lessons that I have learned due to my disability

   

  So today is my 25 birthday.  I have been on this earth 25 years! For me 25 seems so old.  I mean I  remember being a 21 year old and still feeling like a teenager and people in their mid 20s being so old but now the  jokes on me because  I am 25,  a quarter century old.

 Over the past 24 years I have learned a thing or two about disabilities.  I have had 8,640 days  of living with disability.  As a result,  I have had a unique experience being on this earth.  It is different than my parents or any of  my siblings.    There have been  lots of hard days but  not all days have been difficult.  In fact, there have been many life lessons that I have gained by having  a disability.

Here isa my count down list of 25.

 25  There will be hard days.   

 There will be  hard days for everyone life is hard at times. Sometimes it will be a hard day due to having a disability and some hard days happen because  life is just plan hard.

24  Hard Days do not last forever.

   

    Sometimes in the mist of  a bout of very strong OCD  I have hard weeks or months.  As hard as theres things might seem day after day,  there will be a day where it becomes better again.  

23  Laughter  makes everything better 

    On those hard days its important to have laughter.  A little joke and smile might be all you need  to make you  feel better.  Laughter has been crucial for me because it gives me a small break from  my fears and troubles.

22   Never take anything for granted 

  I know some people out there,  I know because unfortunately I have had to deal with them, think that humans beings are naturally able to walk talk  and do a verity of things independently and take those things for granted. I do not because I know  a lot of people who can not always do these things and they are not broken people.   

21  Disabilities are not something to be sorry about 

 One of the things I hate a lot is when people  apologize after I have told them that I have CP.  Those people I have found are the nice people who just do not know what to say.   There is nothing to be sorry about. I have a good life. 

20.  Kids are curious about disabilities,  so it is important not to dismiss their curiosity.

Both growing up and now as an adult,  kids are curious about why I speak differently.  I  know that it  is important to be honest with kids and give them the vocabulary  and knowledge to embrace people with disabilities.  I am not going to be publishing a book on Cerebral Palsy  this year but I am hoping  it will be at a later date.

19. Being in the right environment is critical for success.

  

 I have experienced this from jr. high 'til today . When I am in the right environment, I am able to do well and when I am not  it is hard for me to meet  expectations.  It is key that more  environments try to accommodate those with disabilities like my Jr College and CSEB did.

18. Words matter.

Despite what the saying, "sticks and stones" says,  words can and do hurt.   It is important  to be respectful to each other.  You can do this by ending the R word and listening to minority communities about what words or phrases mean to them.

17.  Friendships are critical.

Friendships are important. I did not have a lot of good friends growing up, so I treasure the friendships that I have now.  I am friends with my old professors, service providers, and some peers. These relationships are important because they allow me to have experiences outside of my family. 

16.  Inspiration is not necessarily a good thing. 

    Being disabled and having disabled friends online has allowed me to understand  that Inspo Porn       is not always the best  way to represent people with disabilities in the media.  ( For more click here

15 Ableism is real.

      While we learn about a lot of other stuff in school and college we rarely learn about Ableism.  I  have experienced ableism  and it is not fun.  It does exist  and as a young adult I now have a responsibility to speak against it and make other people  aware of its existence.

14. Disabled people have made contributions.

  Something else that you do not learn about in school is the story of the disability rights movement.  Helen Keller was not the only disabled individual who made a difference to American  History.  There have be others.  These  stories  need telling. I learned about the 504 protests that happened in SF in the seventies and the Capital crawl  to help  push through the ADA. 

13.  Media is slowly  changing.

   There has never been a better time to be a person with a disability.  Shows like Born This Way, Switched at Birth, and Speechless and the modeling industry advocacy organization, Changing The Face of Beauty are showing  the world that being disabled is ok. They are doing this by allowing real disabled actors to be portrayed in these roles. This is very exciting. 

12.  Being Brave is a crucial.

  Sometimes it is hard to be brave but it is important. When  I decided this summer to go back to Speech Therapy at 24 I was being brave and I am seeing the  results.

11.  Be Assertive 

  You have to speak up if things are not going right. Back in middle school, I was told to ignore bullies now I know that was wrong information.  You have to speak up, not only for yourself but for  others coming behind you. 

10   People you meet  online are not always creepy.

 I have met the best people online who are connected to disability.  We are truly a global community and are using  our voices and life stories to help each other.  I am hoping to attend the NDSC  conference next June to meet more of these awesome people.

9.   No one has a crystal ball.

   Though out my life well meaning people have tried to paint a future for me.  They said I couldn't go to college or live on my own.  This past year I graduated college with a GPA above 3.0.  This has proved to me that I make my own future just like my sisters and cousins. 

8.  Do not assume.

   I think humans tend to assume a lot of things about people. I have done this too and feel bad. I know that having an open  mind when meeting new people is important.

7.  Great expectations.

     My parents taught me this one. They  never seemed to be bogged down by what professionals said to them. They expect me to be my best. They pushed me to go to college and have advocated for me  to have the best life I possibly can. Sometimes when I start listening to nay sayers  they are the firsts ones to say no, that I can achieve success in life. 

6       Two wheel bikes are overrated 

 While  I can successfully ride a two wheeler on flat lands.  I much rather zip around on a three wheel bike. Although it has been broken for a few years.  I love that bike a lot. 

5.  Celebrate  the little things  

 When I am  able to  do something new. I tense up and get so excited, it is the best feeling because I know how hard I had to work to get there. 

4.  Community matters.

  I have found community  in therapy centers, Special Olympics and online.  I love making the World CP Montage  and mentoring kids with developmental disabilities.  The disability community is my tribe. I love being a part of  this great community.

3.  Hugs are not used enough.

 Being involved in the disability community has taught me that hugs are great.  It is the best thing that people can do. It feels great and is so easy. I  love giving hugs!

2.  Sometimes you have to be creative.

This could be called  different ways to do things.  Recently I have used a nickname for myself and it has worked well.

1.  Inclusion is key.

 Inclusion in life is so important. I know I am biased, but I think the best job in the world is advocating for inclusion of people with disabilities!

World CP montage

 Note : You can not send them to me in a comment but  email still works

If by chance then do not judge

  So, I am in speech therapy again and  am working hard and sometimes , ok a lot of the time,   I drool.  Once  while saying the /th/ sound  I accidentally  sprayed  my speech  therapist .  I got so embarrassed and rushed to apologize . She wasn't mad and  said that I couldn't help  it.

 This week  in America two  black men were shot by the police.  This  is not new, but this is the first time I am talking about it.  Black lives , not all lives in particular  because black lives have been tossed away  without  public regard for all of America's history mater. They matter because they are  people who are a part of families. They matter because  the person killed by the police  is someone's son, brother, lover, friend. They matter.

 One of the reasons that it seems silly to me to judge someone based on a characteristic , such as race, gender, sexual oreantation,  religion  or ability.  Is that  these are characteristics  that the person  themselves     has no control over.  The individual person does not  chose these characteristics yet in America we tend to  punish certain groups for a characteristic  that  they themselves did not have control over.   Just like disability, my mixed  race identity  has  contributed to the person that I am.  I am  a disabled women of color.  I knew about slavery  before it was taught to us.  My mom has stories of the Jim Crow south as do my grandparents.  It shapes me into a more conscious person.  It is not something I chose, but it has shaped me into the person that I am today.

 To judge someone because they are  different for whatever reason is wrong.  Because it is all by chance.   Random Chance.  The bad thing is that some people think they are better because of chance.  There  is one race the human race.  We are better together.


  Remember the Golden Rule:  Treat Others The Same Way You Want to be Treated 


  My deepest condolences to those that have loss  a person to police violence 

My Journey to a BA

Last Final

Just finished my last final of college undergrad. 17 months ago I was told that I could not complete a degree in Liberal Studies at NDNU. Eight years ago I was told that I could not go to college to do behavior problems and I really should work in a back room. But yet tomorrow I will get my BA. Impossible is nothing. Never underestimate anyone. Have high hopes and use inclusion to get there.

6/10/16

"Ableist, Stereotypical, and Offensive" or: Why I Hate "Me Before You"

Legacy

   Once upon a time there was a young women  who went to a grad fair.  Seeing  all the graduation ceremonies  they  left because there were things for other graduations , Black Grad,  Asian Grad but no graduations for those with disabilities.  Being  a disabled  advocate she went to the disability program and  mentioned it to the staff.  The staff liked it so they  put it on. Today was that day.  It was a fun day. This will be an annual   celebration   at the school. This is pretty good legacy to leave behind.  

 For those of you that are worried that this means  this graduate will not  be included  in the traditional ceremony, Don' t worry she will walk across the stage in  ten days.

Happy b day Book girl

 Book girl is amazing.  She always is looking out for  me.    She is awesome.   Happy b day  Book girl   Love you  lots.



 AZ   

Happy Mothers Day 2016

  Hi  guys sorry   I have been absent.  OCD  has not been kind to me these  past few months and I  am graduating and  generally  really busy.   But  I wanted to blog  for  Mothers day.





     My mother is the best mom I could  ever ask for.  She  is  strong beautiful  and wise.   There have been many times where I wanted to quit college. After an horrible college experience  I  did not  want to go back to school.   My mother was there   and was firm in her  stance.    I would finish  college no matter what.   I am now graduating  with my  BA in June.


     Whenever   I am in one of my  ocd meltdowns there is only one person that I  want to  talk to  it is my mom.   My mom may not  be trained in mental health.  She does her best and helps  talk me through things.    I know  its not easy to deal with - for both of us- but  she does it well.

 For all mothers  of disabled kids, and fathers too.  Thanks for  loving  us, helping us,. Thanks for  holding us,  talking to us,  playing and planing.    Motherhood  is not an easy job  for any parent but you do it and we love you for it.     For any  mother of a disabled  kid  who thinks that they are not doing enough  for their  kid.  Let me  assure  you that you are doing  the best  you can.    

And for my mother.

 Thanks for everything that you have done for   Princess  Bookgirl and  me.    Love you always.



AZ

National CP Day 2016 : Wishing Out Loud Please Do not pretend

          On this national CP Day  I  have  a request.     Do not pretend.



        I am a 24  year old college senior,  who graduates in June.   I understand  a lot of things.  I love to  read and devalued  Harry  Potter Books in my youth.   I  am very  good writer, despite   not having the best proof reading skills.   While  math is not my strong subject,  I can count change pretty well and worked at a Cash Register.

 Me Jumping rope. Notice my right arm is bent 

 Yet  it is  still apparent that I have  a disability.    My face mussels are very  tight and I can not control my  eyebrows at all .  My arms sometimes bend in different ways.   This does not cause me  pain and in fact it is only looking at photos and videos  that I realize that my arms bend in a  unique way.   I  have an  uneven gait, and  I do not always dress  the way other young adults  dress due to  sensory issues  and  always  being cold.

  The Biggest  thing that happens though is my speech.  I have a speech impairment.  My muscles in my mouth are  tight.  I do not open my mouth wide when I am talking.    I have dysarthria  that  is the result of Cerebral Palsy.    

  Please  Do not pretend that you understand me when I am speaking.


  My real name is hard to say.  Its four syllables long  with an R in  one of its syllables.  I hate my name but have no  ideas for a new name.   I  am still considering  a new name.  

 Me Eating a Banana.  That is how big  my mouth is 

     In the  meantime  if  I  come up and introduce myself to you and you're not sure what  I said, or anyone with a speech impairment  please  I   ask you to  to  asks us. to repeat what we said   We know  when you can not understand  and it sucks.  I know you think that we can not understand the difference and its an awkward situation; however,  it hurts.

 When you  pretend  to understand me.   I feel disrespected,  I  feel  like what I have to say is not important - which  makes it hard  especially since I'm nearing  the age to enter the l job market.  Please  presume  that I am making sense.  Please   be a little patient and   work with me;  ask  me to show you, or write it down.   Enlist the help of  others around you.    Let's work together  to  get my point across.  Because  what I have to say is important.

Cerebral Palsy Party An interview and a chance to work with AZ

 Hi guys   so   today I am featured on Tonia Says. Go check it out.  


 I am also looking for people to work with me.    Cerebral Palsy Party is a book that I  have  written  that explains what CP is to children ( think between the ages  of  5-10 )    There are no good books to explain what CP  is.   Its a picture book  without  pictures.   I am looking for an  artist to help bring  my book to life.

 Here is the flyer

 Please share this post to  help me find an illustrator.

 Don't forget to  Wear Green Tomorrow for  national  CP Day. 

Cerebral Palsy Party What inclusion look like

   

 Hi guys today  is  #whatinclusionlookslike twitter chat today.  2pm so I thought I'd show you /tell you.


 Inclusion is having parents read your bedtime stories  and expose you to books about different cultures  and  races.  Inclusion is   knowing that  college is  expected of you when you graduate high school

   

Inclusion  means  having access  to the playroom at the same  time as your siblings. 

Inclusion is  playing  sports on traditional recreation leagues

And playing Piano (or doing whatever  after school activities  that  you / parents want not just the things for kids with disabilities  

 Inclusion is  about going on field trips with your class because   you are just another student  

 Inclusion is about knowing your siblings friends   because  you go to school with them. 

 Its being able to play sports on the same team as your siblings 

  Its about being on the School team ( even if its just a practice team)

 Or  Being a Team Manager 

 Its about going to  your high school's Senior Prom with a date.   

Its about being   a leader and educating others about  things you care about .  I founded a Disability Awareness Club back in high school.

 Its about having  General Education Professors be friending  you to the point where they find some Green to wear on World Cerebral  Palsy  Day  then wanting to take a picture to  put on their Instragram 

 So to rap it up 

  Inclusion is 

 LOVE 
 HOPE 
 KINDNESS 
   FAMILY MEMORIES 
  

AND  CELEBRATIONS 

LOTS AND LOTS OF CELEBRATIONS   
 FOR THINGS  BOTH  BIG AND SMALL

AZ CHAPMAN IS A College Senior with Cerebral Palsy,  Non -Verbal Learning Disorder and Anxiety.  She has   been blogging  on blogspot since 2007.  She loves  sports advocating for inclusion  and   Nintendo Games. 

Recycle Post Talking and understanding are not mutually exclusive

Add caption

 I am  re posting because   I will be writing another  post related to this topic  later this week.

Talking and understanding are not mutually exclusive

                        Lets  say  a genius  who  spoke  Latin  were to come to  the United States.  Now  lets   just say  for the sake of the argument that  there was  no one else  who spoke  Latin.    Is the  genius  still a  genius.    Of  course  many  people would say   he just  needs    needs to  learn  English.       Well  what if there was  a  person  who  could not speak  at all  and  had  no device,  could he  be  a genius?
`   
It  angers  me as a person living with a speech  delay  when  I hear  someone  who has  no  speech  due to  disabilities, and do not have any  device  and  are  placed   as  limited  intellectual  ability.  It  really   angers me    because   the person does not have a  opportunity to  prove  there intelligence one way or the other.  Why am  I pissed  off  let   me  tell you  my story.

 bookgal  princess  and  az We were so cute 

          I was  born   September   1991   a month  prematurely   resulting in mild Cerebral Palsy.  As  a newborn  I could not suck  from a bottle  to well  a feeding tube was  placed  though my throat so  I could  eat.   When  my parents  took me   home  I  had a  hard  time  breast feeding and my  mom had to pump her milk out  and put it in a bottle.  My  muscles  were soo  weak that   feeding took  forever. 




 When  I was a  toddler   I had difficulty communicating. I leaned sign langue  to communicate. I  remember saying and  signing  cracker  in the kitchen.  Using  signing  I was  able to  express  my wants  and  needs  until my speech   came  along.




 With me and  my  speech  impairment  repeating  words  is   frustrating  especially when  no one  understands  me.    I  hear myself  speaking clearly, My  mind   makes  the ideas  and  the words   that come out   are   fuzzy.   I  remember  saying answers  in class being  told  I was  wrong and   someone said the  same thing  and got it right.      That means that I  got  the answer   right.   


  Now  for me  I have a voice . Its  not  the best  but its  a  voice. As  frustrated  as I must  feel  it must be  ten  times more frustrating  for  people  without a voice.  I feel for those  people  and   can not igmane  being inside  and  not having  a  way to  communicate  and   because of  not being able to communicate  getting   labeled  as  worthless.    Having the school system  write  you  off being  isolated  from your peers.  Being  talked to in a high  pitch  voice  every day when  you  are not a  kid. Then  because of  your physical limitations  being  labeled   as  being as  smart as a  toddler.  That is not  fair  nor is it  right.  I  know  all about  history   understand  Spanish and  english  have a  talent for writing   can  play chess    yet I can not  say the  L  R   K   G sound   easily.  Does  that  me   not smart  no. Now  igmane   if  i could not talk or  had a device yes  I would not be able  to   write  read and play chess  not because  I   was  not smart  but because i  had  not had  the opportunities  to  learn.     If  you are reading this and have a child  who can not communicate  my  advice  is   to  go to the ends of the  earth  for your kid, Buy the i pads   the dynvoxs help your  child  find their voice.   If your  the  parent   or  know  someone  whose  older  who can not communicate   do the same thing.  The   sooner    you  get it the better but do not give up on an older   person in fact you need to get  the information them faster to make up for loss time. In the  meantime  continue talking to   the person   as  would with   a person as  there  chronological  age. ( So     talk  to a baby  like  a baby
 All people deserve   a chance to connect with others.  It  does not  matter how smart they are everyone  wants  to connect  with  others.    Think about  it  this way   if the person  is  said  to have an intellectual disability  and you  talk to them about  stuff that  is  to hard for them  then  they it will be  to hard, but if   the child is smart  but has not fond their  voice they will  observe  it like a sponge.  Please  remember  speech  is  very  complex  and hard but   the   spoken word  is   the end result.   The  process  may still be in place.








  

He Has

He  Has  been on the earth for  22 years.
  He has  a great job.
  He gets around in our town independently.
 He   has co workers that adore him.
 He loves to play basketball and swim.
 He has  friends that are close to him that he considers part of his family.
  He  loves to see movies.
  He has his Eagle Scout.
 He has  an extra chromosome.

  Honestly   I hope you do not think  that  he is a different person.   He  has been a constant  friend in my life since  I was ten.    LM,  LM has  Down Syndrome, and he is a normal  young man.     Yes,  He does navigate the world without someone.     In fact there are times  when  me  him and his best friend, who also has DS,  have walked  downtown to grab a bagel. I do not live in the  same area  as they do so they were the ones guiding me.  LM  is amazing because he is doing things that some said  would not happen.  I am so proud of  LM. He  rocks.

     

Cerebral Palsy Party Sorry for the lack activity

    I have been busy with finals.  Happily  that is over and I am on

Tune in next week for

new posts. Have a great weekend.

Hope Everyone had A