I do not blame myself because I had been brainwashed into thinking I was not college material. I knew I was smart and could comprehend, yet my teachers in high school did not see potential in me and I had no friends who could relate to going to college with significant disabilities. All the kids my age with with disabilities were in the Adult transition program. I did not qualify for the program, yet junior year the schools workability school representative told my mom that I should find a job at Safeway. I was hurt. So you see how scared I was to leave high school.
Too make matters worse due to my terrible monstrous behavior, most teachers in high school did not allow me to contact them. I have tried to befriend so many of my former teachers who have befriended other students , yet most ignore me including my special education teacher. I think they did not want to hear my tdradigies that were going to happend or so they thought,
I finally got the college thing down and I made the dean's list. I developed close bonds with professors and staff. My behavior improved a ton to the point where teachers LIKE me. I have asked them if they are sure that they are not confusing me with Princess, yeah I know she is not at the same school.
Just today this conversation took place between Professor D and me,
AZ: Thanks for tolerating me this semester
ProfD: No problem its been my pleasure,
a student: Its been his pleasure.
ProfD: Keep in touch I will fallow your blog.
For ProfD: Thanks for being supper nice to me and helping me out. I hope we keep in touch if you do not mind. I may be visiting in the fall. Your words mean a lot to me and show me how far I have come. Thanks for leading me to believe that I am a decent person. I love comments on the blog btw
Now do not get me wrong I still have hard behaviors at home and in DSPS, yet I am
learning how to deal with them in a mature mannor. Part of it is habit. I have to retrain my reactions which is not easy but I am going to be graduating JC and Transferring to University. Right now my Major is Liberal Studies but I am thinking of switching it to English with my end goal being a Special Education teacher. I am not going to a day program, I am not going to a shelter workshop. I am going to University.
Too be honest I have been afraid yet I feel like this time thing will be different. I will stay in contact with many professors at the JC and support Staff at DSPS. I hope to take some more classes their if time permits I have grown and I am ready. Transition will be hard,yet their are two major thing that will be different. I have a ton of people who support me now and most importantly, I believe in myself now.