Why having a drunk teenager is a good thing. Speechless Episode five

  Image description JJ and Keneth at a house party.  There are lots of teenagers with red cups 

 On this episode of Speechless.  JJ and Keneth go to a high school house party where JJ gets drunk.  His parents seem mad at him , but in reality, they are happy for him.
  I am 25 years old   living with Cerebral Palsy and  I am on medication that makes it dangerous for me to drink .  I still live at home and  I think that if  I came home from a house party drunk. My parents would be very happy.
   Why might you ask?
  I am not saying that parents of disabled kids  are more prone to encourage their kids  to try drugs and alcohol. What I am saying is that often times  parents want their kids with disabilities  to  have a social life.
   When you have a disability, more often than not  life is lonely.   My high school career consisted  of  me going to one dance -- my Senior prom.  I was not guaranteed that I would go to that.  My mother insisted that I  only go if I were escorted  by a guy that didn't have a disability.  I  ended up going with someone  who graduated the year before and was a Freshman in college .  I did not have a group of close friends that  I hung out with in high school. I was different and even though I was fully included  for all academic subjects and graduated with my high school diploma,  high school friends were nonexistent.
  I am hoping that Speechless encourages able-bodied  high school students to include peers with disabilities in their  Halloween house parties.  

 

Not that Inspiring: Speechless episode four

On this episode of Speechless, JJ and  Keneth get to spend the entire day together without mom or school,while the rest of the family gets to go to Paintballing and Ice Skating  two things that with JJ are hard to do.   Durin their day together JJ and Kenneth  become the objects of pity and get special perks, for example. they get to  get into a Dogger Game for free.  At first,JJ is into to this, but by the end,  he is not  happy.

 I have mild CP , so while I do not get inspiration a lot I still get it. When people call me inspiring, I do not like it. I mean I have not done anything  that great.  Yes I have a disability and have overcome  a ton and I think I am strong and think I am amazing, but I do not like  being called inspiring because it does one of two things.




 One   It shows me how limiting  you  think that disabilities are.

 So one time in college  I had something happen  to me that I have  called the  Seal incident.   In a Linguistics class at a private college. The teacher overly praised me for doing well on the first test of the quarter .   She came   to where I was sitting  and  wanted to shake my hand because I had gotten the second highest grade, she did not praise the highest student.  I felt like a seal. I hated this in fact it  discouraged me from doing well on future tests in that class. I  later learned that she  thought I was not going to do well.    This made me mad.  Let me tell you guys something.  Just because you  thought I  wouldn't do well doesn't mean it's a miracle when we do well it just means that you had  low expectations because  we have disabilities.  I am a disabled  honor   student and no that is not surprising.



 Two   It puts me on a pedestal

  Inspiration puts me on a pedestal.   Just because I have a  disability  does not mean  that I am  always good.  I have made lots of mistakes, just like everyone else.  I am just a human being trying to have  a good life according to my family values. 

On being left out -- Speechless episode three

 So today I am going to be talking about Speechless Episode three.  Something I want to relate to is JJ being left out.  In this episode, the students at JJ's high school have a homecoming bonfire at a place that in inaccessible which makes JJ feel left out . JJ's mom  talks to the principal and has it cancelled.


I do not agree with  Maya's decision because   it is not realistic.  For me in additon to Cerebral Palsy  I have NVLD which is similar to Asperger's making dances and social things in middle school and high school really hard  for me.  In seventh grade, I didn't have the social skills or friends to navigate the middle school dances;however,  my favorite general education teacher was  working at  the dances.  I went and hung out with her. While this was not socially appropriate    I at least got to experince a dance.  I think it would be more embarissing to cancel dances  because I did not know how to behave because that would bulid resentment towards me  and be counterproductive.  What could be done is  have a fun night. What that means is during the dance, or bonfire, or other special event, have something  fun that  the kid gets to pick.  Play a board game, have a movie night  or something enjoyable.

 Another option would be for schools to plan ahead for these social events with  staff and  parents.  Maybe that could mean having a quiet room during the dance with a movie playing which would be open to all students-- Bookgirl's  privite school  did this and I thought it was a great idea.  Schools should not promote activites for general education  students that are inaccesable for  disabled students.  It is not right.   This  can be easily avoided and its up to adults to  make sure that social  events are  held accessable   venues.

  For students that have problems making friends a good thing to have is a circle of friends.   Circle of friends is a program where students with disabilities have a circle of  able bodied peers that help them out. Their are plaining meetings that students parttake in to set the student up for social success.  I  really wish  I would have had something like this.  I wonder if it is to late to have one.  

People like me on TV : What I could relate too in Speechless episode two

So  today I will be talking about Speechless episode two. Today I want to talk about the adults in one's life .

           On this episode of Speechless. JJ  says that he wants to have an aide that his mother doesn't agree with. In the first episode,   Mimi  and Kenneth  get into a fight at the school when Kenneth uses the word cripple,  but at a  carnival   JJ and  Kenneth  team up to save  JJ's younger brother from the bullies.


          When your a kid with disabilities you tend to have many adults in your life.  For me I had  OT, PT,ST  an aide  along with the typical adults  in a kid's life. For me the problem was  compounded   when I was diagnosis with  Non  Verbal  Learning disorder , which makes social skills nearly impossible to learn.  For me I get along better with adults.  As a teenager, I had favorite teachers  like my Freshman Spanish teacher, and my  Senior English teacher along with my golf coach.
      As a college student I  made friends with many  of my professors at my community college.  In fact they are the ones that  made me consider  that place a second home.   The key about those people  is  that they are not connected to my parents.  I love my parents a lot but sometimes I need space away from my parents to talk and interact  with adults.
 JJ obviously needs that space as well which is why he  insisted that he needs  Kenneth as his aide. I can not wait to watch their relationship grow as the show progresses.



  Speaking about friends  that are adults  here is a picture of me and my friend  sporting our green for World Cerebral Palsy Day last year.   Tomorrow is World CP Day so  do not forget to stop on by the blog for the world CP montage.

  Here is a preview.

People like me on TV

      Hay guys. I am sure that most of you know about the new ABC show called Speechless. Its a American sitcom about a family of five. The mother, played by Mimi Driver,  is a fierce advocate for her son JJ because he has a Cerebral Palsy. JJ is played by Micah Flower who himself  has Cerebral Palsy. This almost never happens.  There have been two episodes so far and while I have a milder form of Cerebral Palsy  there are still things that I can relate to.  I am going to be blogging about them  every Thursday but since I am down two episodes I am going to use today and tomorrow  to blog about it.

 Zack Anner has talked about how mothers that have disabled children fight for their kids, so I am going to say that my mom has always been my best advocate too. She fought for me to have a college education.

The thing I  want to talk about is how people talk down to the disabled.   This happens twice in the episode.  Once where  their in a parking lot and people are mocking him and the other time is when JJ enters class.

  This has become a big issue for me recently. I was hoping once I graduated from college that I would not have to face this.  I was just recently at a  disability conference where people  taught that I did not know how to read. This is extremely frustrating to me and makes me angry.  What able bodied people can do about it is  assume that a disabled person understands what is going on.   For me I am trying to work on a way to handle this.