Saturday, June 7, 2008

Can you feel the hate tonight Left out Addiotion


(Baby [right]and Mid-sis[left] modeling swimsuits as toddlers)
This is something I wanted to post about for a long time. It is about what is between me and baby. It all started when we were at my aunt's house in Sacramento My cousin H was visiting us . She is my age but hangs out with baby and mid-sis. Well The girls wanted to go see Indiana Jones and I wanted to go with sounds simple right .. oh wait I am disabled. My uncle went to talk to my mom and Baby said it was to scary. My cousin said She dose not want to go if I am coming along and baby did nothing to stick up for me. In the end I stayed at my aunts and uncles house and came downstairs after my mom resumed me that She dose not hate me it just that she is a teen and dose not understand but she doesn't know is that I felt the hate of my family .

Last weekend when C was here I took her around the block piggyback style and someone asked if we were sister and I said no. But I wounder what would life be like if baby had a bigger age gap between us. Would she boss me around ? Would she play video games with me more often would she let me help her I wounder.
I was looking at some old video from the Christmas 2000 earlier this evening. In the movie I am opening a pesent and baby says Wow It's a racing set. I wish I would have known that baby when I was at least Ten and she was still five.Instead of eight and fivewhich was are ages back then

Today she was trying to teach me volleyball but she was not patient i was trying realy hard and she was being rude by texting her friends and yelling at me when I was trying so hard to do it right . The only reason why want to know about volleyball is so that all of us can play volleyball out in the font instead of mid-sis and baby.


I love the baby so much and I know she loves me but I want her to me proud of me and want me around instead of pretending I was not related to her. I am not even allowed to vist my old middle school because of her but that anther story The ancer to the post w below will be posted on Monday so you can still figure it out.

4 comments:

Debbie Yost said...

AZ,
My heart goes out to you. I know this must be so difficult for you. The only thing I can say is you and Baby are going through those difficult years when you often will fight and not get along. Baby is trying to find her place in life and although what she is doing is not nice, it's not uncommon. My girls fight a lot and my oldest is often the same way with her middle sister. As parents, we can't always fix it and sometimes we have to let you work things out yourself. If your mom always pushes you on Baby, she will come to resent you. However, I think with time, Baby will mature and be proud to call you her sister and probably even be a little ashamed of how she acted at times when you were kids.

Hang in there. It will get better. You have good parents that will help you through. Rely on them and let them help.

Sending you cyber hugs! :)

AZ Chapman said...

Deb thanks but I think I am trying to push in on baby inserted of my mom

Shannon @ Gabi's World said...

Wow those are some tough years you are going through. The teenage years are always one of the toughest. It gets better. It will be different when you are all adults. I bet you all become very very close. Hang in there. I know it's tough to be left it. It happens to all of us.

Jackie said...

Sometimes life just isn't fair - at all. I am sorry you were left out. You are a strong & courageous girl no matter what ANYONE says (or doesn't say)...

I enjoy reading your blog.

Jackie (Trips friend in Dallas)