A Midsummer nightmare

       So today  I  had class at my  beloved  jr college.   I  needed a text book  for philosophy which  my  dad  came  to the bookstore to get,but  we  ended up not  getting the book.  " Why  did  we not get  the book?"


   When  my  dad came to bookstore  he traded places with me so I could  rest my feet and look on my iphone.  I looked on Facebook that was fine, but then I  got an email from  my old university  The  plan was I  would  take classes at both  the jr college and the university  since  I can only take two classes at the  university.     The same university  that I   talked about here.

   Apparently not  much has changed in terms of inclusiveness  towards   those  with disabilities. Ableism  rules  supreme  and  the term  has not began.  How  do  I know this.

  The  email I  got  was play invite  to all the students   to try out for  Shakespeare's  A  mid summer nights  dream.   I  kinda  like  that play and  have always wanted  to be in at least one play  my school career so  I  was interested  in  trying out .  Until  I  read the following,

"This play requires clarity of speech and a passionate desire to communicate one’s point of view."


   This is clear ableism. Why  I  have  speech issues.  I  can  barely  say my own name.  I have  been in  speech  therapy   since I was   three.  The  speech  issues are  due to CP. Futhermore   this  was sent out  to all  the students.   This  was not broadway its a school play,  something that I  always wanted  to do.   Did  they  think about this?No.    


  I am  leaning  towards not going back to school and  school starts a  week from now. 

Dear Pete Schiff,

 My  family  has a weekday   night time tradition watching the  Daly Show  and  the  Colbere   Report.    Due to the   State of the  Union  Adress  it was not  on  when  I went down  stairs.
  So I was dishearten   when  I   saw the following clip .


    I  really  hated  the last  part.  It felt like  I  was being  punched  in the gut.    You  see  I am 22 years old  and  live  with a developmental disability.     I have  Cerebral  Palsy.

  No  I  do not have  a  intellectual  disability that is  the  proper  term  now  not  the  R  word .  Although  if you met  me    you might think that I do  because  I have a speech  impairment  and  drool  at  times.   But  it  still  hurts  what   Pete  said.     I do not  respect  him   enough to  use his  last  name.

      In  the spring of  2009   I had a school  meeting  at which  time  a  job  coach  sat  across the  table  from  me and my  mother and  recommend  that I    work at Safeway,  most likely  working  for  pennies a  hour, and live in   a group home.   He  had said this    despite the  fact that I was in my second semester of   Advanced  Placement    United States  History,  which  I  ended up   passing the AP  test  with  a three.    I was a junior at the time, so  when senior  year rolled around  I  was scared  of    leaving  high school.   Can  you  blame  me?    I did not  want  to  do it and I  assumed that  the  job coach was right because he  worked in the field and knew me.  Senior year   I  had to work   one of those jobs and I hated.  I  got a pay check   but was   unaware of the  low  wages.     To this day I am scared  of working a  entry  level  job.      Its not  fair .  I  want to  get   off  social  security,  you see that is where the money comes from   but its hardly enough to live off of.


        After   high school,   I  decided to  attend  a  community  college and  I  excelled in those classes. I  got  good  grades.  I  got so many that when  I   graduated  I was able to graduate with honors.   Thats  right a  person  who  was   predicted  to  work  for   pennies  a hour   went on to graduate with honors.   I am not  worthless.  I  attend   university  where  people   did not   respect    me and    am  currently on a leave of absence to  care of my health.


 The  world  is not set up for  people with disabilities.       Colleges  do not  know how  to  included  those with developmental  disabilities and  thanks  to the loophole in  the Fair  Employment Act    the jobs  that  societies  expect us to do barely  pay  us  anything.   Disabled  people have  feelings  and   we want   to  be include  in life.      We can  be  tax  payers,  some  people   may need help  paying  taxes but they  can  still  pay   them.  We  do not need   to be  dependent on the    government.


  Oh   and  our  founding  fathers   said  this  about  people.


   "  We  all  hold  these  truths to be self  eve dent that all  men  are created  equal."   Ring a  bell.   If not  look  in the Declaration  of  Independence and  maybe then you will  find a  heart

Once upon a time

Hay guys this is a good post , but spelling may b bad as I typed on my iPhone, internet is down at my place school starts tomorrow . I still need photo for the CP montage.

Once upon a time in the fall of1997 a little black and hispanch girl started kindergarten.Not only was this girl a  minority  she also had CerebralPalsy    She hated phonics because she did not havethe ability    to make the sounds, yet she loved words and was reading by the end of the year.

By first grade this girl had really bad behavior she was diagnosed with  nld . But that spring she participated in field day and got awards 

  

In second grade she attended a new school  they were able to help her and she got an   Award   for a nature project.  

 

Throughout her elementary school career she won 

 

 Life skills  awards 

 Bike rider award in third grade for particpating in sunday bike rides  with her teacher, dad, and siblings. 

a science fair ribbon in 5th  grade 

Along with trophiesand awards    for neighborhood kids sports one year she won a good  award from her local ayso 

In middle school the student still had behavior problems but still managed to get on honor  role.

 She joined special olympics and began to win lots of medals over the l next  eight years .

In high school she got awards as well but also developed OCD  she did not want to leave high school and acted out so bad that many people did not  not want her to visit she accepts full responsibility for this by the way.

 She missed a lot of class her first semester of college but when she   Started going to school she improved her behavior and  picked up a medal that said that she graduated with honors. Out of all the awards she has received this one means the most to her.

No one would have predicted : three years later

  I had  the worst start to college.  I  felt that I did not belong there.  I  was severely depressed. My  first semester  I missed  two to three weeks of school. I wanted nothing to do with college I wanted to go back to high school.  I was afraid of the world, which  sounds   bad, but its true.  I did not want to go up  I thought I would not be able to succeed.

   I  do not blame myself because I  had  been brainwashed into thinking I was not college material. I knew  I was smart  and could comprehend, yet my teachers in high school  did not see potential in me  and I had no  friends who could relate to going to college with significant disabilities.  All  the kids my age with with disabilities were  in the Adult transition program.  I did not qualify for the program, yet junior year  the schools workability  school representative   told my mom that I  should find a job at Safeway.  I was hurt.  So you see  how scared I was  to leave  high school.

 Too make matters worse  due to my terrible monstrous behavior,  most teachers in high school did not allow me to contact them. I  have tried to befriend so many  of my former teachers who have befriended other students , yet most ignore me  including my special education teacher.  I think they did not want to hear  my tdradigies that were going to happend or so they thought,


    I  finally got the college thing down and I made the dean's list. I  developed close bonds with professors and staff.  My behavior improved a ton to the point where  teachers LIKE me.  I have asked them if they are sure that they are not confusing me with Princess,  yeah  I know  she is not at the same school. 


 Just today this  conversation took place between  Professor D and  me,

 AZ: Thanks for tolerating me this semester

 ProfD: No  problem its been my pleasure,

AZ: What? 

 a student: Its been his pleasure.


ProfD:  Keep in touch I  will fallow your blog.


 For ProfD: Thanks for  being supper nice to me and helping me out. I hope  we keep in touch if you  do not mind. I may be visiting  in the fall.  Your words mean a lot to me and show me how far I have come. Thanks for  leading  me to believe that I am a decent person. I love  comments on the blog btw

  


 Now  do not get me wrong I  still have hard  behaviors  at home and in DSPS, yet I  am
  

learning  how to  deal with them in a mature mannor.   Part of it is habit. I have  to retrain my reactions which is not easy but  I am  going to be graduating  JC and Transferring  to University. Right now my Major is Liberal Studies but I am thinking of  switching it to English  with my end goal being a Special Education teacher. I am not  going  to a day program, I am not going  to a shelter workshop. I  am going to University.

  Too be honest I have been afraid  yet  I  feel like this time thing will be different. I  will stay  in contact with many professors at  the  JC and support Staff  at DSPS.  I hope  to  take  some more classes their if time permits   I  have grown and I am  ready.  Transition will be hard,yet their are two major thing that will be different. I have a ton of people who support me now and most importantly, I  believe in myself now. 

A do- over day

          So  today  is the  national youth inclusion conference for I am  norm.  I wish  I  could be telling you guys about   all the fun   things that are happening.  All the  people  I am  meeting   that also believe in inclusion.   I was  soo excited  earlier in the week  I  warned my teachers that I would be hyper  on friday  from all the  excitement. 


  That was   Monday.

 The fear set in  on Tuesday night  when  I  realized that  it would be storming in the  bay area.

 Wednesday    talked to a physics  teacher  about  what would happend  if  a plane got stuck by lighting,

Thursday       warend  my group that I would not attend.  Talked to my old  aid  went to see Lincoln  which was a great movie 

 Friday

  Went to class  was not hyper more scared   it did not help that   we read a poem about death. ( no  i do not blame  my  american  Lit teacher) 

 Talked to my  astronomy teacher asking him about   any metros, like the one  he told us about on Wednesday, 

  Went to the  airport and  could not decide  to  go or stay.     Went to security twice.   My  mom  got embarrassed,  It did not help that my  mom   had to get padded down  because  the machine kept going off which  freaked me out .    We  made it to the gate as the plane was  taking off.

      Today I  feel soo sad and  ashamed of myself.    Everyone has been so  supportive  and   I  got to  Facebook some of the girls  who are on the youth summit on Thursday    I  can not believe that   I did not get on the plane.    When  I woke up today    and   knew that today  was  Saturday  and not another Friday   I  was  soo  angry  because  I  was supposed to   be  in  Long Beach, yet I missed my plane.    I wish  I could have a do over day.
  I hate  OCD 

Cerebral Palsy is not hopeless

        I have many  memories  of  watching  60 minutes .  It has been  a tradition that    has    been    happening for a long time in  my household . I loved seeing Andy Rooney   at the  end    and  I am sad that he died.  He  passed away   the  day of my softball  torment  last year.

 So  On  sunday when     I was   on  face book and someone  posted that 60 minutes  would speak  about CP  I   do what  I normally do. I  sneak  into my parent's  room and  watch   TV as was the  case  Sunday  night.  I  really  like  how  60 minutes so far has  portrayed  people  with  disabilities   up  until this  point  but     the piece was a  exception.


    The way   the reporter  talked about  CP painted a   very sad  picture  of   my disability.  The  story starts  out  with   phrases   such as   "hopeless  disease."  Sorry  but   I  have    CP  and no it is  not  hopeless nor a disease, its  a disability.I  invite  anyone  who thinks  that Cp  is  hopeless   to come  spend  some time at my  place.   Laughter  is  a common thing in  my house  and  I  have  played sports gone to school   attend  college.      I  am  really funny .  yes  I have a disability  but  it is not the  end the world.


 This  brings up the  whole point  of the   article. The article talks  about wanting to "cure"  CP and   other disabilities  using  illegal stem sells.   I  find it  wrong because  I have  CP and  I  do not  want to be cure of CP.  It is apart of  who  I  am .     It is not  hopeless  nor is it the end of the world.  My advice to  parents of  kids   with CP is     step  back   take a deep  breath  and do not    go to other countries   to get stem cells  because    having  CP is not that  bad.  As  of    January  2012 stem  cells can not help  Cp   yet    CP is not  hopeless.  I  am  living proof that therapy   and lots  of  love  will do  wonders. For whatever   reason I  have  disabilities    and you  know  what   I am  normal. This  is  my  normal.

A Comical Casco trip

   It all started   earlier today  my mom and I  were   in  Costco  we are having a New Years Day party at our house sunday   so   we need  some  Sparkling apple cider.    My  mom    needed  this  drink and  had been  looking all  over  for  it   no   luck.  i ask someone  he  tells me it is  in the  asile  we come to this  

 it is  up  high   we    get  it  down  After  we  got  it done someone  told us it was   here

  behind    us  on the  table


      Other things that made me laugh   on the Cosco  trip
 The jacket   we  wanted to buy  did not have a tag in it

and   my mom left  her  card    at the cash regster
Costco
  will never be the  same

  Any  Funny things happend to you  guys  today


   Stick  around   for   year in  review  coming  soon

This should make for an interesting Monday

 I left my  cell phone at the Buddy Walk. (apparently the phone  wanted   a new  buddy :)). I also  lost  
   
   My  alarm clock 


  My  phone  so  i can call  people for a  ride  from my evening class.
  
My  Camera so     if i  mange to make it to stats  i can not take a pic of  my  buddy's   classwork  which is   allowed so  i do not have to  do  hw


 I will  let u all  know  how it  all goes  

Summer Recap

Hay guys so just a quick note to tell you that tomarrow i go back to collage. I will be around however I am going to try to concentrate on my studies (you know not leaving homework til midnight) so my blog and FB may be negeted we will just have to see.

The summer camp job did not work out this summer but as you will see below I still had a fantastic summer.



I will try and do my best to post around here and read blogs. If I get comments that will motivate me to post hint hint hint :)

Princess started senior year but I did not get anything out of her as far as teachers go. I am not giving up I hope to document her senior year on this blog as the year goes on

Make a video - it's fun, easy and free!
www.onetruemedia.com

Getting better

  please  comment before u leave


 In  high school  I was the student  that  was the teachers  hardest to teach
   in collage   two professor   have said that is not the case.  So   either   they have taught worse  students or   I am  improveing 

Comeing full circle

I am feeling great today. So many things have come together today and i feel really happy. If you were to tell me a year ago that i would have this feeling of joy after high school i would have believe it, So that is a gift and it make the feeling that much more special

I hate keys

  Hello guys  I want to say first off  Happy  February   (my favorite month of the year)  the ressson for not posting  is  the fact that the comments are not rolling  so   before u leave  could  u help me  out  my commenting. 

   I hate  keys  I mean the  word itself was hard  for me to say for the  first 12 years of my life .  I have a t for K substitution so I  said the  word  Tey and   I would  get a minus  from the ST  not fun times.Now that I am older  I can say  key  but  I have to slow down and really  focus on the   K  sound but that  is just the beginning  of  my   key troubles.

   last  Wednesday  when I got home from school i went to use the key to open the house up.     I  can get the  key in and  turn it but  the key  gets stuck in the keyhole making it hard to get out.     Last Wednesday I manage to  get the key  to the garage out   but then  the Garage   door that leads into the house was locked.  I  then  call my dad and he says to try the sliding glass door   I do  but then the key  gets stuck into the door  and  i can not  get it out nor can I open the door.    I  proceed to the sun room in my backyard  and my  dog comes  and stares at me. This is funny cuz my dog spends a lot of time in the sun room    when we are away.    Now  she looks at me   from inside the house at me in the sun room   where I stayed until my sisters  came home.

Big Wave the resson why it's needed (I spy az and her enimies too)

can u spot  me  in it  enjoy the  video  pics are  taken  from  the last  two  years .  U  can  spot  E as well   do  u  know  what one he is?

Full Furstation

warning  this post contains a vent

  I  have the  hardest speech in my entire class.      Has been a statement   I   could have  said   from pre k to  senior year of  high school,without  frustration.  As  when  I  was  young    as long as  kids  played with  me (which they  did ) at recess, lunch or  free time.  As   I  entered  middle school ,   I     told myelg   that they  do not have a disability ( I  got  passed up in  speech class    and that was discouraging , but   not  to  bad)   and that lasted through  high school,  what also helped  was the  typical  kids who  could  understand  repeat things  to  the   teacher.

( Another reason  that inculsive  education has worked  for me)     But   as   I say it about  my current class  CDS 2010   my  Frustration level is  full.

I really like my first day picture of CDS 

The  thing is that  all of the students in the program  are young adults   with disabilities and   most of them   have been in SDC classes   in  high school.  I am  one  of the smartest   students  in the classes   and I  comprehend everything   that goes  on. It  should make  sense  since  I   understand everything that  I should  be able to express myself , but   that is not the case.  All the teachers   do not  understand me 100 percent  of the time and   it is  difficult   to   show them how  smart  and funny  I  really  am.   A good example  is  today  during   PE.

 We  were in the cycling   room and     coach  A (we had a  four coaches  today)  helps me and says  "AZ  you  make me feel   like     Cinderella," as he put my  foot through the  straps  on the bike pedals" Am  i the handsome  prince ."

 

 " No,"   I say You are the  ugaly troll. I have been  playing a lot  of  Lego  Harry  potter  on the Wii.

 

 The ugly   frog,"                                                   

"No   troll,"

  "Mole?"

 " No? " 

The other  kids  call out  but they do  not say   troll

  I got off  my bike and  wrote the  wrong spelling of  troll 

 I show  it to  coach B  "Troy,"

  

"No   troll

" Finally coach   got it." 

I walked  back  across campus  with  Coach  A and  we   talked about the  frustration i have about my speech during the classes in the class and he suggested  slowing down and   articulating.      Coach A  says that   he talks to fast and ask that we all  try to do our best and  slow down.    I can  do that but      it  still  does not  guaranteed that I will speak  smartly.  I   hate   speaking  stupidly I need more  ST   with a good speech therapist.

 got  pics  from  the flowing
 sign:https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhgXxe25XgWypThBwqhxbaBjYmL4LPZNaXX7EZRSEC3DrFAHg3FUrI3eKYBhJxuzfO5t_YfUcD3yKhq3Dq9eS94o63y6Vnl_Wh7zDQuBzkKHjy7f4HBsKSxJLs1gkylbIPhvtR_uA4LNDN/s400/Frustration.jpg

 troll http://i.clevver.com/photos/229747/130/98/lego-harry-potter-years-14-screenshots-of-year-1-vignette.jpg

Collage Carrer Comences

 Today  was  my  first day  of the special ed     collage ( I am  going to refer it as CDS for  collage  during  the  summer)  program. I  had  basic English and   introduction to using  the internet( I   know  a thing or  too about that )  The  best  part was that i ate lunch  with a guy I went   to  preschool  with(  I took  sped  preschool)  More blog  post  on  CDS   later.    Tomorrow after  collage,  I have a  pizza  party  so  I  will   post about that  Tuesday

It should not be a fight

    I have  seen and heard  Many stories about    parents  who  have to   fight  for there child  to be in   mainstream  and   after  reading such  accounts  I  wonder why  does  it have to be a fight   on there  part    to   let disabled  kids  go to inclusive  school.

My mom  came  to   my  kindergarten  class    when we had our career
  unit I am  sitting on    my  teachers lap   listening to what she does  in the
hospital

I  have always  been  included  since  kindergarten.  It was a no  brainier    for  my  parents  and the  two  school districts  because  I  have   normal    intelligence.      I would not trade      inclusion   for special  education,  (although  I must admit  I  wish  I had  more life skills when I graduated high school ) because I have  met so many wonderful  teachers, students and faculty as well as  being  apart   of   all of my school  communities.  I  have  so  Many great   memories   of     being in the  mainstream  and  going  on  field  trips  and  discovering     new  things.      I  just graduated   from  inclusive  high school  but  have  left behind   a club and lessons  that  others have  learned  from  me.

Ms P  (red)  was my sped teacher  all t
throughout high school here  i am  with her
 halloween 2009

  I have had   help and support   from special  education  teachers and staff  and have  participated in  ST     a  one  to  one aid  and  Work ability   while  being  able  to read    write and  learn  with  people  in my community, people who  live  near  me and     in my city    because  I have  been  in inclusive education

 Field trip  fun.

I   care so much about inclusion  because   Cerebral  Palsy   could  have    caused me  to  have a  intellectual disability  are be     so  disabled  that  the  best  place  for me   would have  been a separate  class  or  a special   needs  school.    I     care because  I  have  friends with   disabilities both online   and in  real life   who are not included . I   see   what  a shame it  is  that  other people will not have the chance  to get to know them.

Art work  2009   the teacher
used  to be a sped  teacher
  I  took  ceramics  during my Senior
year  of high school 

 I have  heard   from a  favorite  teacher of mine that    when  they taught at   another  school the kids with disabilities  were  there  but  they never  got to see  or talk to them.  The kids   missed  out   on getting  to  see   and talk  and  make a connection  with   the  person  who has been  a great   mentor and  friend to me.       The teacher  has been  working as teacher for  a while  but  I  was  their  first    student my   level  of  disability    it was not easy  but    like they  said    at the end of the  year   " Oh  the stories we could  tell"  and     I   am a character in  that story  along with  the  other students.(maybe   mine are the   annoying  and hard stories  but     hopefully there are some great ones of just me and  the whole class) I  have not heard  any  stories  yet from that class  but   I would buy the  book .........I  think.....  lol

 School is not the only  area that  inclusion
  should  apply to but to   all types of  recreation for
  peers of   similar ages. I played  soccer in AYSO    from pre k
 to  8th  grade every fall

 Inclusion     should  not be    so  hard because  unlike a driver's   test which should be  earned because the   result  of     it not  going  badly are deadly     inclusion  dose  not hurt anyone . In fact inclusion  benefits  everyone   involved the students  teacher s and school community.       In    all classes i have been  in  (AP   US history  include)   everyone isn't  at the same level  so why is it that    people  say it is  easier  not  to  have  kids with  intellectual  disabilities   at the  same   classrooms. With   mortifying  assignments    or    simplfilng  the  information     all kids would be able to learn better.  Inculsion   was not  a fight  for me  and should not be a fight for anyone  else.

Transition to adult life part two

It is now may 6 and school gets out in less than 30 days and I am getting more woried by the day. I do not understand why help if you are in inculsive education has to end when we are 18. I am soo not ready.


It also makes me frustrated that there is only two ways of life for someone like me. Sheltered workshops or day care or collage life with limited support. i got into a program today however it is totally special ed classes on a collage campus. i am not sure i want this there has to be a better way to ease into adult life If anyone has any suggestions how to help please leave a comment.

Transition to adult life

I have been wanting for a long time to write about how i feel about leaving high school for a long time and Ellen's post about her run in with the lady with Down Syndrome gave me fuel for my story here it goes.

All high school seniors there is a big fear about what lies ahead. Think about it from the time you are five and six you go to and from school Monday through Friday come home are under adults supervision while you are at home. In the case after high school a new routine takes place one that involves growing up and moving away from home or getting a job and going to community collage. Normal people handle this well. My brother did and now he is back near by ( well now he is in AZ) but he still lives at home with his mom.

Now through in CP ,NVLD, OCD and a fear about the future it is hard. I personally do not want to levee high school and leave the familiar that i have had since I was a newborn. I am not that independent and the aspect of a roommate in collage scares me. The fact that i have normal intelligence means that I can not stay until I am 21 which means fall next year I am going to be lost.

Now that I am a senor my parents and i have to plan for the rest of my life. This has to be the scariest part of transition as the future seems like a big black abyss. i am so scared like i have ever been. I love things to stay the same so these next months are going to be scary. I know i do not want to live in a group home and although I want to live at home next year I doubt I will always be comfortable living at home so I will need to learn how to live on my own. I want to get married and have some kids so I can coach there teams help with scouts etc will that happen i sure hope so. I want to be a self advocate and an author for the disabled and make the world more inclusive but i will need some help. I hope some adults at school will continue to help me as I transition from there but until i leave in May I am going to enjoy every last minute of my high school experience. My advice to all parents is to enjoy the kids as they are kids and listen to them and help make their dreams come true.

My friend is hurt

My favorite four legged friend is hurt. That would be my dog zoe. When book gal and mid sis gave her a bath tonight they asked me if I had noticed the limp earlier. i did not see the limp when I took her on a walk this morning. It is so bad Zoe is a very active little dog so limited mobility is going to be hard for her. If you can send her some prayers these next few days My family and I will greatly appreciate it thanks

A Princess party

Or  not    .Tomarrow is  my annual  IEP.  Thanks  to  my wonderfull behavor and great  grades (so not the case)   the IEP  will  go  nicely.

 I am so  nevous.     I think  my  self  esteem  will be going  down  tomarrow  morning and  I will be  more nevous then  I am already am ( if  that  is  even possible)  for life after  high school.

  The  bad thing  is I   touched the fire  sota  speak last Thursday so  it  was  too  late  for this IEP  but  maybe  not  for  open  house  which  is  in  march but that  dose not cover  life after high school. ( more on these  topics   soon  i hope)

 pic is me  age 19 months