Saturday, January 17, 2009

Down for the count


No I am not  sick or tiered  I  have lost my inner drive to do well. On Thursday was my IEP and guess what guess  what   I get do   in   fall summer   2010  live in a group home and  work  at Safeway because  I don't have the skills  to live on my own and  interact with people.   Mr  W   said this at my meeting    he   talked to my parents  and  told them  to sign me  up for  services for  job training   and a group  home. 


 I have been  in  mainstreamed since kindergarten. Has it been easy ? No.   Do I  have  social skills    problems? Yes.  I am  smart  yes .  So much  for   independence in  09.  I can't  believe he said  these things instead of  giving me hope.  He saw me the day before and  he did not even brother to tell me   so I could be  papered   or   better yet sent me  out of the room I  feel   like    giving up.  It is Saturday night I can not  bring myself to do my homework.   i mean  why   try  if  I can not  do it.  I talked to LG    and she agreed  with  him . She is not my  friend anymore .  I  wish  i had someone   my age to   support my hopes and  dreams. MY dad says let it go.   I can  not let it go  it hurts  it not what i planed when I was little. I wanted to be a mom. Now  looks like  I will be   a   child  forever.  My only regret   is that  people tricked  me  when  i was  little.  yeah   I am down for the count

9 comments:

Angela said...

You never let anything stop you all these years, right? You are smart and it doesn't mean you are down for the count!! I am so proud of you and I am glad to have met such a fine young lady. Everyone needs a transition in life after school. For me I tried living in a dorm room at a college and realized it was too hard. I moved back home and tried again at a local school -- still living with my parents. We go through so much and having transitions is part of life for everyone! Just because someone says something about your future doesn't mean it will come true. We decide our own futures and it doesn't always work out as we plan, but that's part of life! You can do anything, so keep dreaming big! I would look into any and all options -- it may surprise you in the end! If you and your parents decide to try a group home setting it doesn't mean it's forever. You may learn a lot to help you move out on your own one day. I don't know too many people who are ready to be on there own right after school, disabilities or not. Please, keep your head up! You are a bright young lady and I really look forward to watching you go through the next phase of life. Keep us posted and keep that chin up, okay?

Lots of love (and sorry sooo long!)

Angela

Jeff said...

Hey AZ,

Sorry to hear about your meeting with the so called professionals. You do know they need to make these suggestions to keep themselves in jobs? As I have told you before you can do anything you decide you want to go after. Getting out there and trying employment is a good thing. Ok so you are not excited about Safeway.....well not many of us were excited about our first job or our first 10. But you need to get out there and try some things. While I am not sure what kind of group home you are referring I would trust your family in assisting you in finding the right place to live. But stand up for your opinion and don't let anybody steal your dreams.

Be Cool!

Peace.

Monica said...

AZ, Looks like you have gotten some great advice from the previous comments I echo what they both wrote. And Remember it is through our weakness (hard times) God shows his strength. Hope you are feeling better. I personally will be saying some prayers for you. Don't give up!!!

Amy said...

Jeff is right about the so-called professionals needing to keep their jobs. For me, that is one of the worst things about Emma's IEP meetings - they always want to tell me what she CAN'T do. Now I make everybody start with the good stuff, like what she's doing really well. I wish they had done the same for you, because from reading what you write, it seems like you're successful at a LOT of things.

Honey, don't give up your dreams. Not now doesn't mean not ever.

rylie's mom said...

Hope your feeling better by now. Sorry I just got around to stopping by. You will be a success!
Don't give up!

datri said...

I'm just now catching up on blogs. Hope you are feeling better about things and haven't given up trying. You are a great self-advocate, so keep at it and show them all what you can do.

JennyH said...

I love your blog. I'm glad you commented on mine so I could check your out!

You have great advice above. You know yourself better than they do. I'm sure you can prove them wrong once you're there. Good luck and sorry it's not what you wanted to hear!

Laura said...

I had to think for a while before leaving a comment to this post, because I wanted to make sure I said the right things. I'm still not sure if what I'm saying will be helpful. When I finished high school, I was not ready to live on my own. I tried desperately to find work the summer after graduation without much success. I did have one successful summer at a daycamp for children with disabilities. They were a place that was very supportive of hiring individuals with disabilities. Academically, I have always done well so university has been blessing to me. My parents and doctor believe I will succeed in a knowlede-based position. Someday, I hope to be a researcher in educational psychology. I realize I may be 30 before I am fully independent. If you have to recieve support for longer than those your age or additional help to reach your goals, don't let that make you stop trying. If I looked at myself five years ago, I would have not have been ready for what I'm doing now (my first undergraduate research project). You will still continue to learn as an adult and where you are now may not be where you are in the future. In whatever you end up doing, whether you go to college and get a high paying job or whether you work at Walmart, do the best at what you're doing, and make a difference in the lives of those around you. You have the capacity to do that no matter where you work or live.

All 4 My Gals said...

AZ, I echo many of the sentiments above. One thing that you know is you can not listen to what others say. No one can dictate your future, but you. I know that your family will help you make the best choices for your life, but the key is YOU will be making them.
HUGS