No one would have predicted : three years later

  I had  the worst start to college.  I  felt that I did not belong there.  I  was severely depressed. My  first semester  I missed  two to three weeks of school. I wanted nothing to do with college I wanted to go back to high school.  I was afraid of the world, which  sounds   bad, but its true.  I did not want to go up  I thought I would not be able to succeed.

   I  do not blame myself because I  had  been brainwashed into thinking I was not college material. I knew  I was smart  and could comprehend, yet my teachers in high school  did not see potential in me  and I had no  friends who could relate to going to college with significant disabilities.  All  the kids my age with with disabilities were  in the Adult transition program.  I did not qualify for the program, yet junior year  the schools workability  school representative   told my mom that I  should find a job at Safeway.  I was hurt.  So you see  how scared I was  to leave  high school.

 Too make matters worse  due to my terrible monstrous behavior,  most teachers in high school did not allow me to contact them. I  have tried to befriend so many  of my former teachers who have befriended other students , yet most ignore me  including my special education teacher.  I think they did not want to hear  my tdradigies that were going to happend or so they thought,


    I  finally got the college thing down and I made the dean's list. I  developed close bonds with professors and staff.  My behavior improved a ton to the point where  teachers LIKE me.  I have asked them if they are sure that they are not confusing me with Princess,  yeah  I know  she is not at the same school. 


 Just today this  conversation took place between  Professor D and  me,

 AZ: Thanks for tolerating me this semester

 ProfD: No  problem its been my pleasure,

AZ: What? 

 a student: Its been his pleasure.


ProfD:  Keep in touch I  will fallow your blog.


 For ProfD: Thanks for  being supper nice to me and helping me out. I hope  we keep in touch if you  do not mind. I may be visiting  in the fall.  Your words mean a lot to me and show me how far I have come. Thanks for  leading  me to believe that I am a decent person. I love  comments on the blog btw

  


 Now  do not get me wrong I  still have hard  behaviors  at home and in DSPS, yet I  am
  

learning  how to  deal with them in a mature mannor.   Part of it is habit. I have  to retrain my reactions which is not easy but  I am  going to be graduating  JC and Transferring  to University. Right now my Major is Liberal Studies but I am thinking of  switching it to English  with my end goal being a Special Education teacher. I am not  going  to a day program, I am not going  to a shelter workshop. I  am going to University.

  Too be honest I have been afraid  yet  I  feel like this time thing will be different. I  will stay  in contact with many professors at  the  JC and support Staff  at DSPS.  I hope  to  take  some more classes their if time permits   I  have grown and I am  ready.  Transition will be hard,yet their are two major thing that will be different. I have a ton of people who support me now and most importantly, I  believe in myself now. 

How a mom's decision to work influenced her child with disabilities

   When  I was younger I had a friend  who was also disabled we  grew up in Elementary school  as included students in the main stream classes.


   Her mom was  a stay at home mom during the week. My mom worked a ton.  More than my dad.


 Growing up I hated this  I  wanted a mom t hat would pick me up from school  take me to therapies  drs appointments  and everything else that is involved for as a child with special needs .  Lucky  I had a great nanny who helped  raise my sisters and me  

I  always  said   " I wish you could be  a stay at home mom like   { the classmates mom}



 Now  on the eve on my graduation from JC   I am  glad that she worked.   She was able to make a difference in the lives of others, first as doctor then  as  vice chancellor, her curent physician

 My mom and me basketball tournament 2013

 More importantly I learned how be independent   I learned how to do my homework myself. I learned how to be assertive in the doctors offices.


 Once my baby sitter left  three years ago. I learned how  to

  Set my alarm

Get to the bus on time

 I learned how to make things to eat  like my dinner Saturday night  a can of beans

    On Saturday I  walked to  track practice  because my mom was  working

 I learned how to go to the bank  and get money out.

 Do I know all the skills  I need to know to live independently? Nope  but I  will and  my mom will be there  I leaned these things  because  my mom worked so it was up to me to learn how to advocate for myself   I  did not have to look far for an inspiration because  as a black women  leader my mom is an advocate.    As  I grow into  a advocate  her stories of  courage and wisdom will guide me and for that I am grateful.
  I  love you mom happy belated  Mother's Day 

Yesterday

  I Finally submitted my college applications inclusion does work


 Sorry  guys  I  have been  missing in action  a lot of exciting things are coming up   i  promise including the rest of Able to go to College  school has  been  crazy  busy  but  I  have not forgotten about  you guys  so  hang in their and I will  blog more soon.

Gavin David Leong the Fallen Supper Hero: A boy who will never be six

      He is a boy  who will never be six. 

He is a boy  who will never cuddle  with his mom,

  Sit with his dad,  

Or   play with his brother,  

 He is a boy who will never be six.

He is a boy who left this earth too soon.

 He is a boy who  made a difference. 

 He was a  boy who did not need to  pretend to be a supper hero,

 because he was   

He is a boy who will never be six. 

   Experts say he was deaf, 

 but he heard  his mother's voice. 

 Experts said that he never walked

  Yet,

 on December ,12 ,2012 he  walked across the kitchen floor.

 Experts said  he was not going to learn much 

 Yet he understood how  to hit a switch to ask for water

 He was a fallen hero . 

A boy who will never be six. 

OH God  how I hope and pray 

that you surround his family with love and grace 

 helping them feel in place 

 with their supper hero gone 

 A boy who  will never be six

 He will never be forgotten,  

 never 
ever 
erased.

I never knew this hero,

 I met him online .

Everyday I would read his stories 

on his family blog 

Chasing Rainbows .

I met him 

Meny met him 

 He touched so many lives 

 Like heros do. 

Gavin 

Oh Gavin 

David Leong .I   mourn  for you

 You were so brave 

 and so true.

 There is nothing that I  wouldn't  do to support your family

 ED,   Kate, and Brain 

 You will always have a place in my heart  along with Gavin

  Know  guys that  the  cyber special needs community

Morns with you.

We mourn  for a boy.  
Moans for a boy who did not  have to pretend he was hero. 

 because he was a supper hero.

 A boy who will never be six.

Rest in Peace Gavin.   

My Best friends and a fallen hero

 

FOR GAVIN 

 Growing up.  I  never had solid friendships   A  tall  black  feisty  stubbon hard  headed  disabled  girl was the last person kids wanted to befriend .  When  I was  15  I  started reading blogs, and that  summer  I    started  my own blog.   I have been blogging online ever since ,  I also have  found good friendships with  amazing  people  all connected to  one thing, disability. Over the years  I have met numerous  women , and men who have become  my friends. They have read my blog  and  commented and  I have  read   and commented on their blogs.


 One  such person  is  Kate Leong.    She  has had it hard.  Her  oldest son  has CP  Her youngest has had to overcome a speech  impairment and penut allergy.     Her oldest son, Gavin  David Lenog died tonight after having  heart  problems.   I have  watched her Facebook post since  Wednesday, the day he got sick,  hoping that  he would pull through.  Unfortunately he was pronounced brain dead.   He was  Five   and a half.   He is a  little boy who will never live to be six.


  My Aunt came to town this weekend  and   I  was  happy to see them.  On Friday Gavin took a turn for the  worse.  I read about it  as  i  had a meeting   with my  school DSPS program.  I felt like  I was in a fog. I  had hope that  Gavin  would pull through. I  told  my consular about it.  My speech therapist about it my parents  my aunt.  I have    had  the pic above to honor him.

  I feel pain  for a kid I  never "met"  because of the blog spere. I  may not have met  him in person because  he lived  across  the country   I   knew  he loved music . I was happy  when  he started to walk around  Christmass last year . And I was thrilled when  just last week  he used a switch to say I want water  at school.  Then  this   happend. I am soo  mad at God.  Kate has  already  had a still  born.  She had been trying for  more  kids   without fail and  now  her super hero is  gone.   I do not understand why god makes  life so hard for people. I am  soo mad. Please  keep   this  family in your prayers,

 For any of you longtime  readers  please know that you have been my greatest friends.   A  special  shout out  to  Ellen ,  Kate ,  Jan , Nicole,  Michelle,  Debby, Shannon , Tim, Rick and  those who  I forget  thank-you  for reading  and  inviting me into your homes  and   share  your kids with me.  You may be older then  me; however you are my best  friends .    Kate  you  are amazing  thanks for sharing Gavin's  story  with me and countless others.  I   hope you can find  peace on this difficult day.
 Kate  this  picture is  for you.

News at home

            Hay  guys  I am back,  As  I type this today , Sunday,  its the last day of  spring break  so  its  back into  school and stuff  and blogging.

               First I can  not help post   these  cute pics of  me and my Dog on World CP Day.   I  made these using a cool app  called    Pic
Stich

  Over break   my family got a new car.

 And I  have only have three classes now.   One classI was behind in and the other one  well  i do not  want to go into details here yet  but I am still upset.  So  now  I am going to try and apply to a college with some  Withdrawals  so  it will be interesting to see i  if i get in.   Now that I have some time I should be able to  put my application in  within the week.  Exciting stuff.   How have you  guys been? Do you like my   new blog  header  let me  know  in the comments 

Happy Easter