I do not get by

Remeber the Beatles song I get by with a little help from my friends well for me I do not get by with help because I do not feel that I have friends to lean on. I do have the kid from my b ball team who is my best friend but he is only a eighth grader. I have typical friends but they are not scared of transiton so it is hard to go to them for help. Plus I have the suspiction that i tag along with them instead of being true friends with them. I have some socal skills but as a senior in high school (with five days left) I can not work in groups I still act like a child. i am no where near ready and hanging out with Mr T is out of the picture as well so how am I going to survive.

At Special Olympics there are kids who could realte but DD has single handly made it so I do not have acess to them. The girls are disabled and whats more they have fromed a click and make my life a liveing hell. I got into a fight with them saying that they belong in Slytheren( from harry potter) and they belong to the vampire hunters( They realy enjoy twilight) The coach then repermand me for makeing this wrose because I also cussed at them ( was tempted to use the R word but I did not ) So I do not know how I am going to deal with the transition from high school. If anyone has a time machine can you please let me use it to go back to the begging of senior year instead of where i am now

Randome in the moment quotes from AZ

Mom :Ouch AZ you hurt =me what do you say

AZ; I love you ( I know she was looking for sorry)

Scenario two
AZ; I am not ready

mom I am ready I am ready

AZ: I am ready I am ready to tune you out.

will post more soon

Happy Mothers day

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

we had a fun day today we went to a restaurant worked on gardening and saw Iron Man 2


. One more thing from Ellen and max


1. Because we never thought that “doing it all” would mean doing this much. But we do it all, and then some.
2. Because we’ve discovered patience we never knew we had.
3. Because we are willing to do something 10 times, 100 times, 1,000 times if that’s what it takes for our kids to learn something new.
4. Because we have heard doctors tell us the worst, and we've refused to believe them. TAKE THAT, nay-saying doctors of the world.
5. Because we have bad days and breakdowns and bawl-fests, and then we pick ourselves up and keep right on going.
6. Because we gracefully handle the stares, the comments, the rude remarks. Well, mostly gracefully.
7. Because we manage to get ourselves together and get out the door looking pretty damn good. Heck, we even make sweatpants look good.
8. Because we are strong. Man, are we strong. Who knew we could be this strong?
9. Because we aren’t just moms, wives, cooks, cleaners, chauffeurs, women who work. We are moms, wives, cooks, cleaners, chauffeurs, women who work, physical therapists, speech therapists, occupational therapists, teachers, researchers, nurses, coaches, and cheerleaders. Whew.
10. Because we work overtime every single day.
11. Because we also worry overtime, but we work it through. Or we eat chocolate or Pirate's Booty or gourmet cheese, which aren't reimbursable by insurance as mental-health necessities but should be.
12. Because we are more selfless than other moms. Our kids need us more.
13. Because we give our kids with special needs endless love, and then we still have so much love left for our other kids, our husbands, our family. And our hairstylist, of course.
14. Because we inspire one another in this crazy blogosphere every single day.
15. Because we understand our kids better than anyone else—even if they can’t talk, even if they can’t gesture, even if they can't look us in the eye. We know. We just know.
16. Because we never stop pushing for our kids.
17. Because we never stop hoping for them, either.
18. Because just when it seems like things are going OK, they're suddenly not OK, but we deal. Somehow, we always deal, even when it seems like our heads or hearts might explode.
19. Because when we look at our kids we just see great kids. Not "kids with cerebral palsy/autism/Down syndrome/developmental delays/whatever label."
20. Because, well, you tell me.

az answer. Because You are always involved in IEP and advocating for us kids

Transition to adult life part two

It is now may 6 and school gets out in less than 30 days and I am getting more woried by the day. I do not understand why help if you are in inculsive education has to end when we are 18. I am soo not ready.


It also makes me frustrated that there is only two ways of life for someone like me. Sheltered workshops or day care or collage life with limited support. i got into a program today however it is totally special ed classes on a collage campus. i am not sure i want this there has to be a better way to ease into adult life If anyone has any suggestions how to help please leave a comment.

happy birtdays

I say birthdays because there are two special men that are turning a year older (or celebrating it today

and Uncle L my uncle who is my mom youngest brother turns a year older today

Lm My friend with DS. His birthday was yesterday but his party is tonight at a local bowling ally

I wrote the fallowing a few years ago about LM.

Spending time with LM is like opening a Christmas present and being pleasantly surprised because it was not on your list, but you enjoy it all the same. L M is a year my junior. He has blonde hair and blue eyes. His name might be L but he prefers to be called Michael Jordan. Needless to say, he is a huge basketball fanatic. Surprisingly, L and I did not meet on a basketball court. We met at Judo class where he is now an orange belt. L an easy-going kid, but that does not mean to say he is always happy. He gets grumpy and angry and he doesn't like to admit his defeat. L lives near my school, but unfortunately for all the students and staff will merely be a name without a face. L will live through the stories and the essay I am about to tell you. But chances are, you will never meet the Michael Jordan of San Mateo. The reason being is that L has to go to our rival school because he has Down Syndrome and attends a special program there.

The summer before the eighth grade I was invited to the M's house to spend time with L. Although the intention of my visit was to have fun on a summer's day I learned a lot by going to his house. He gave me a quick tour of his house before leading me down to his room that he shared with his brother who is a year my senior. Stacked up along his wall were video boxes. The video boxes took me back to when I was young because there were Disney movies. L had a wide range of selection which ranged from Mulan to Aladin. It looked to me that he had all the collection. "Lets watch Mulan two." L said bring out the DVD box. I was not so sure about that . I mean I did not want to tell L that my personal collection was gathering dust because I had grown out of them. L did not want to take no for an answer so after playing outside L played the video. As the movie was playing L pointed to Mulan and said " That is my sister. " He proceed to do this and it hit me that L was using his imagination to put himself and his friends inside the movie. At the time I did not think much of the move. I do not remember much of it except Lu sat entranced by the story and sang along with the songs.

L has taught me that it's ok to do whatever it is that makes you happy. Even if it goes against the trends and thoughts of society. L has taught me that it's ok to be different and that everybody matures differently. Some people might mature faster than others but in the end they do. L has taught me that a childhood hobby can carry on into teenage years even if it is only for kids. The most important thing that L has taught me is to not assume that a person is incapable of doing anything.

L was thirteen at the time of our play date but yet he still loved watching Disney movies. Some people might just write him off as less capable but mankind can learn a thing or two from him. Mankind's favorite saying is the grass is greener on the other side, whether it is adulthood or a different job or classroom. Humans can learn to enjoy their side of the grass and if you happened to get on the other side it would merely by an unexpected Christmas gift instead of a dream. Adults are always telling little kids that " they are such a big kid" we should not say this because it's impression is that being little is not okay. Instead of growing up being like the 50 meter dash man should slow down to enjoy the sights and sounds of childhood. It is surprising what someone with an intellectual disability can teach you about life.

Honorable mention again

Hi guys I want to let you know that I won an another award for my poetry. This is the same contest I won last year. I do not have a copy of that poem so in the mean time here is the one i won last year
Dare to dream big

When I was little
I had big dreams.
I wanted to be a construction worker,
Teacher,
High school sport star.
I dreamed, and I thought
If I made the good dreams big enough ,
I thought
Just maybe
Just maybe
It could come true.

When I got older,
Just shy of ten,
I began to question
If I could control
my destiny.
I realized that I was different somehow
From the rest of the kids on the playground.
I had two acronyms attached to my name
They were
CP, and NLD
I began to realize this and sometimes felt ashamed.


Then there came middle school.
That was the worst.
Kids teased me and I got my feelings hurt.
I sucked.
I was a loner.
The worst kid in the entire seventh grade class.
What made it worse was that CP was in my face.
I always got cut from team sports,
The games I loved most.
The things that made papa boast,
Like he did for the baseball king,
My elder brother.

Around this time
My dream came to me
And whispered softly into my ear to
“Please do not let me leave your side
Let me stay and let me help you as a guide:
For new stories,
New songs,
New programs,
That I long to belong to.
Programs that saw inclusion as key
To opening the doors for all kids,
Even those with disabilities.”

All in all
I want to leave you with this:
Reach for the stars,
But when you land on the stars
Go for the moon.
Make your future yours
Despite what others think you can do
Whether you are short, or way too tall,
Or have some type of disability
or none at all.
With hard work
And a little money ,too,
They might
Just might
Come true.
The choice of a future is up to you.
I dare you to dream big and see it through.
After all dreams are among the few things that are up to you.

Same place same time same contest

I won honorable mention in city arts again. Sorry I have not been around will post more stuff soon In the mean time here is the poem I won in 2009

Dare to dream big

When I was little

I had big dreams.

I wanted to be a construction worker,

Teacher,

High school sport star.

I dreamed, and I thought

If I made the good dreams big enough ,

I thought

Just maybe

Just maybe

It could come true.

When I got older,

Just shy of ten,

I began to question

If I could control

my destiny.

I realized that I was different somehow

From the rest of the kids on the playground.

I had two acronyms attached to my name

They were

CP, and NLD

I began to realize this and sometimes felt ashamed.

Then there came middle school.

That was the worst.

Kids teased me and I got my feelings hurt.

I sucked.

I was a loner.

The worst kid in the entire seventh grade class.

What made it worse was that CP was in my face.

I always got cut from team sports,

The games I loved most.

The things that made papa boast,

Like he did for the baseball king,

My elder brother.

Around this time

My dream came to me

And whispered softly into my ear to

“Please do not let me leave your side

Let me stay and let me help you as a guide:

For new stories,

New songs,

New programs,

That I long to belong to.

Programs that saw inclusion as key

To opening the doors for all kids,

Even those with disabilities.”

All in all

I want to leave you with this:

Reach for the stars,

But when you land on the stars

Go for the moon.

Make your future yours

Despite what others think you can do

Whether you are short, or way too tall,

Or have some type of disability

or none at all.

With hard work

And a little money ,too,

They might

Just might

Come true.

The choice of a future is up to you.

I dare you to dream big and see it through.

After all dreams are among the few things that are up to you.