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Words do hurt part two

Tuesday December 1 2009 time second period in a high school class room Mr_______ (a special ed teacher) and the students of the class including AZ.

AZ: Aww Mr.___ why did u have to put in 0 for this chapter .( I had to work three days to finish a worksheet)I now had 25 and my mom yelled at me.

Mr.___: You earned it AZ you say you will do it and never do

the other students are inside the classroom now. Mr.___ is about to give a lecture

Mr.___: Who says we need so more troops all we have to do is send AZ and the Iraqis will heProxy-Connection: keep-alive
Cache-Control: max-age=0

she is coming and run away,

Mr. ____ is a special Education teacher who made fun of me. it is nor funny to me. Mr.B knows I do not have lots of friends and by caking a joke he is making a emphasis on this fact and that I should be avoided . When I was in third grade i remember being called Ronzilla and people running away from me. Ir was coined by a boy who made fun of my speech kids would call it and run away from me on the playground. Did Mr________ know this on Tuesday when he told the joke no but he still should not have done it should he?

stay posted for how it turns out I tried to talk to Mr.____ but could not. For anyone who dose know me in real life I am really interested in what you have to say.

Another Poem for the web

(Me in Disneyland next to my beloved childhood movie icon the aliens summer 2006 Princess is next to me )

Do not stereotype me


Just because I’m disabled
I’m not a science fair project so please do not stare.
Ask a question?
I do not mind
And have the time
To spare.
I’m not trying to talk weir d so do not take it as such
And I am not slow hate and I it when people think I am.


Just because I’m disable
I don’t enjoy teasing or bullying so think before you speak
I’m not a product of an accident that should not have been here
I don’t just wonder around aimlessly
And I don’t know any one with a disability who dose.

Just because I’m disabled
I’m not a baby even if I wish I were on hard days
I don’t have a sickness or illness
And I don’t plan to be a burden to my society my whole life.
In fact I want to enrich my community

Just because I’m disabled
Don’t me that you are more perfect then me
Smarter then me

School parternship program

Today I got to represent my high school in the first ever special Olympics youth summit for the bay area. I was the only Representative from my high school . The day started out with leadership and what it takes to be a great leader. ( friendly nice lovable were some I remember) . We listened to Soren speech about the dread r word had a scavenger hunt and I got to share about what it's like to have the best of both word: having a disability and being smart, but at the same time being so isolated from my peers at lunch time.

In the end each school got together to make a leadership plain for spreding disability awareness around the school. ( the students were special and typical high school and middle collage students) I was the only one from my high school but after some encouragement came up with some idea. The best one is a disability week ( or day) for the entire student body along with helping at a young athlete day in may.
I had so much fun and met so Meany new people. ( and saw some some b ball friends from HMB). I am exacted to get more people at my high school aware about disability awareness at my high school. I am hoping that students ( and staff )see that we ( disabled individuals) have more ABILITIES then disabilities . to learn more about the program visit this
website http://www.specialolympics.org/project_unify.aspx and poke around it is new and improved stick around to here how it goes at my high school.


got pics from http://www.sonc.org/images/getinvolved/SchoolsNC_be-a-fan.jpg http://www.laddc.org/poster-contest/2005/3-tram-le.jpg

Down for the count

No I am not  sick or tiered  I  have lost my inner drive to do well. On Thursday was my IEP and guess what guess  what   I get do   in   fall summer   2010  live in a group home and  work  at Safeway because  I don't have the skills  to live on my own and  interact with people.   Mr  W   said this at my meeting    he   talked to my parents  and  told them  to sign me  up for  services for  job training   and a group  home. 

 I have been  in  mainstreamed since kindergarten. Has it been easy ? No.   Do I  have  social skills    problems? Yes.  I am  smart  yes .  So much  for   independence in  09.  I can't  believe he said  these things instead of  giving me hope.  He saw me the day before and  he did not even brother to tell me   so I could be  papered   or   better yet sent me  out of the room I  feel   like    giving up.  It is Saturday night I can not  bring myself to do my homework.   i mean  why   try  if  I can not  do it.  I talked to LG    and she agreed  with  him . She is not my  friend anymore .  I  wish  i had someone   my age to   support my hopes and  dreams. MY dad says let it go.   I can  not let it go  it hurts  it not what i planed when I was little. I wanted to be a mom. Now  looks like  I will be   a   child  forever.  My only regret   is that  people tricked  me  when  i was  little.  yeah   I am down for the count

get it down : I'D go most anywhere to find where I belong

      I have something  called  NLD which    I have had since I was  six. It has never stopped before  from attending mainstream school.        This year however, I    have had on two times asked  myself   if I truely belong  at my  current high school. This  high school  has no  special day class  that I can hang out in and MSA  is no longer a lunch time friend  LG is in soutrhen  CA and  A is now friends with DD and is rude to me.       I don;t realy think  a SDC   class is the ancer . I love my AP history  class., but at the same time I  know I  am missing out  a lot socaily. I have yet to attend  a dance since entering high school. It's not that I am shy.  I am  veary  well known.    I know just about every teacher and  kids always  know  my name.    I mean they will  say hi to me in the hallways  and I have a lot of aquances but  no friends. Friendship  have always  been  hard for me to  navagate  and OCD  comeing  into my life   makes it    nearly impossible. What  do y guys think.   

on a lighter note

  Cousins C and R  are coming  tonight  I am so excited 

 hopefully I will have a good weekend to make up for the crappy school week 

this clip explains thetitle g

   

A great day

 Hi guys you are probably wondering    how today went and I have one  word for you GREAT. My mom and Dad talked to  my special education  teacher( who  assist  me in mainstream  classes)   and   she  is going to switch me  into algebra two  but until then I get  two periods with her which meant that I  got  90 percent of  my homework done today.     I also  talked to my science teacher who told me that I took  tolerate out of  context  he felt really bad  about what happen so after lunch he gave me some cookies and was almost in tears. I know that he likes me and I think I will   give him the befitting of the  drought.  I   am  hopeing that my mom will  contact  ms A   for touting in math and spainsh it would be great to see her again   for help.

I feel betrayed

    Hi guys  I  would love to have typed that  my turning over a new  leaf  in  school this  year is going great  but  it is not

 Let me start off  by saying Monday through  Thursday    started off  great.  I was playing golf  and  writing two  essays   ( that is 11 grade  for you)   seems  good  right wrong.

 There  is  a new kid at school that is  my grade. He is  in my chemistry class  and  I thought  he make a great friend . Well I learned that he  is popular and   thus      the kids  proubly told  him to forget about me.

 Well I diced to tell him about my social stadus in  a  blunt  way  yesterday and he  said he still  wanted to be my friend. All went well  until the end of science  class. As I was packing up   I heard  my teacher say  "They  tolerate her   and help  her   but she is a great kid."      He only said this  because   I was listening  in  on stuff they were saying    behind my back,

 I  can't  believe what happened   might I remind you that this is the same teacher that I had  last year   who was nice  and helped me  out last year. He  diced to   tell the new kid (who he knew I was  trying to make  friends  with) to  Tolerate me  instead of  Aceapt  me,  He  made  a big stink  earlier  that he was going to treat me  like any other  student  but then to  say   others tolerates me   come  on  he really     wait the  post dosen't  end there  when I asked him  what he meant   he  his  kid felt  unconformable  to  me  because  he  never met a  girl like me  before,  what      When I confronted him     he said  the teacher  brought me  up  and the  teacher won't tell me the whole stroy .My mom emailed  him when I literary came home in tears 

 Ms  A is not back this year  and the Autism  class is not at my school anymore   thus I  have no where   to  go and no one to hang out with. Please keep  my family in  mind  over the weekend  because  my ocd is acting  up  from  my math  class.  I have not had a day as bad  as that one  since night  grade  just before   i got OCD 

I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM

On Monday I finished Bay cities driving school and was so exacted because I had a blue paper that shows I completed all my days and ready to get a permit. I ran out to the car and got embarrassed by one of Baby's friends who I did not know was in the car. We drooped her off and headed home. On the way home I said that I was sorry to baby to which she said . "It's okay I just tell them You have a problem.'"

I said I don't have a problem she then said the prefix dis means taken away. It dose but I do not have a problem. I tried telling baby that problem has the connotation of needing to be fixed.

Why dose this matter I will tell you all why. My disabilities make me AZ the kid that so many people care about. I am a writer I am a good student and yeah I have disabilities big deal. I wouldn't want to be normal I'd be different person with a completely different personalty.


The world see people with disabilities as a problems. here is why. People use the word retard with out caring. (Go see Jeff blog for more info on this in the media) People abort kids with down syndrome even though they have a lot to give the world . That is why I started blogging and will continue to do so to show people that I have more abilities than disabilities

Can you feel the hate tonight Left out Addiotion

(Baby [right]and Mid-sis[left] modeling swimsuits as toddlers)

This is something I wanted to post about for a long time. It is about what is between me and baby. It all started when we were at my aunt's house in Sacramento My cousin H was visiting us . She is my age but hangs out with baby and mid-sis. Well The girls wanted to go see Indiana Jones and I wanted to go with sounds simple right .. oh wait I am disabled. My uncle went to talk to my mom and Baby said it was to scary. My cousin said She dose not want to go if I am coming along and baby did nothing to stick up for me. In the end I stayed at my aunts and uncles house and came downstairs after my mom resumed me that She dose not hate me it just that she is a teen and dose not understand but she doesn't know is that I felt the hate of my family .

Last weekend when C was here I took her around the block piggyback style and someone asked if we were sister and I said no. But I wounder what would life be like if baby had a bigger age gap between us. Would she boss me around ? Would she play video games with me more often would she let me help her I wounder. I was looking at some old video from the Christmas 2000 earlier this evening. In the movie I am opening a pesent and baby says Wow It's a racing set. I wish I would have known that baby when I was at least Ten and she was still five.Instead of eight and fivewhich was are ages back then

Today she was trying to teach me volleyball but she was not patient i was trying realy hard and she was being rude by texting her friends and yelling at me when I was trying so hard to do it right . The only reason why want to know about volleyball is so that all of us can play volleyball out in the font instead of mid-sis and baby.

I love the baby so much and I know she loves me but I want her to me proud of me and want me around instead of pretending I was not related to her. I am not even allowed to vist my old middle school because of her but that anther story The ancer to the post w below will be posted on Monday so you can still figure it out.